Friday, January 4, 2008

Rickey Recommends

This is where Rickey posts recommendations of noteworthy consumables, practices, and pastimes that have been deemed invaluable for the reader’s betterment. All products and pieces of advice listed herein have been Rickey tested and approved. Again, this is in no way shape or form a complete rip off of McSweeney’s (fa-la-la-la-la, lawyers, Rickey can’t hear you). Enjoy this week’s installment of

RICKEY RECOMMENDS

Io9. Normally, we don’t recommend other websites because honestly, we’d rather not have you stray too far from this one. But this I09 site warrants mention. Go channel your inner Ray Bradbury over at this nifty new science fiction website. And it’s from the Gawker media family! Finally, a corporately supported sci-fi web site dedicated to intelligent conversation regarding whether or not the cheerleader from "Heroes" can regrow her own hymen.

Gearing up for the NFL playoffs by watching Tecmo Bowl simulations of each game this weekend. Screw the Vegas lines, this truly is the only sports simulation that matters. Because frankly, your Friday isn’t complete without watching a Nintendo game made in 1991 eerily predicting Eli Manning overthrowing Plaxico Burress into the stands. Just shoot Rickey now.

Wasabi Peas. Is there a better snack in existence than the wasabi pea? If so, we have yet to encounter it. Rickey could eat 15,000 of these things and not even realize what happened.

The Homecoming by Harold Pinter. Rickey saw this play in the city over the holiday break and is happy to report that it’s pretty damned good (assuming dark & brooding satirical dramas are your cup of tea). Did we mention that it stars Ian McShane and Michael McKean? Go check this out while it still features its original cast.

Not using a loaded .357-caliber Magnum as a tattoo stencil. Aren’t you just overjoyed to live in one of the few countries that grants it’s citizens the freedom to bear arms and also boasts one of the worst education systems in the world? Rickey certainly knows he is!

Avoiding “I Am Legend” like the freaking plague. Can someone explain to Rickey what the hell was the point of this mean spirited movie and how it earned $200 million? In order to drive home the film’s themes of loneliness and isolation, the screenwriters decided to pull the cheap trick of killing the hero’s dog 2/3 of the way into the movie. Folks, you cannot kill off a dog in a movie—it isn’t done. Especially not a loyal and loveable German Shepherd. And Rickey has no problem spoiling this for you if it keeps you from seeing this atrocity of a movie.

Reading a reputable newspaper on a regular basis. Fed up with living in a tabloid culture with media outlets spoon feeding you bland parables with easy answers? (read: any story featuring Britney/Lindsey/Whoever’s meteoric plummet from grace). Feel like reading news stories that aren’t modern day morality plays? Well then, the established media is definitely for you. Turn off E!, put down The Daily News, and give the NYTimes a shot, will you please?

Andrew Bird’s new album, “Armchair Aprocrypha. Rickey’s a little late to the party on this one (it came out in the spring of last year) but it’s on our shortlist for best album of 2007. As a rule, we dig smart & playful indie albums with stream of consciousness lyrics. Rickey’s only complaint is that the album’s title isn’t nearly as funny as his previous one: “The Mysterious Production of Eggs.”

Familiarizing yourself with the mysterious world of the jerboa. Today, in Rickey’s latest installment of the “what in the name of fuck is that?” column, we proudly present the previously unseen and unphotographed jerboa. Apparently they dwell on the Mongolian plains and have managed to elude being seen by humans for millions of years. And look: they’ve got weird ears! Screw that meerkat manor bullshit—these cuddly little bastards are where it’s at.

You know who enjoys Rickey's recommendations? The misbegotten madmen at humor-blogs.com that's who. Huzzah for unbridled internet shilling at its best!

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8 comments:

Smitty said...

I could waste hours watching the Techmo Bowl football games. I watched the first half of the Giants game with the same fascination I would watch any football game, and even liked it better because I didn' have to put up with color commentators dropping such classics as "I think [the coach] hs realized he has to put points up on the board" or "what the [name of team] has to do is move the ball up the field against [the other team]'s defense."

Alex said...

that jerboa creature is a dead ringer for Ling-Ling from comedy central's Drawn Together!

George said...

If you can see Andrew Bird live--he's great. Then again, I'm a sucker for anyone who builds up tape loops and plays with himself. In public.

AmyV said...

You are TOTALLY right about wasabi peas. Best. Snack. Ever.

Lord Likely said...

Do you know what I recommend? I recommend YOU, Mr. Henderson!

If you would be so kind as to visit my humble web-log, you shall see that I have blessed you with a most...glorious honour!

I do hope you like it.

Rickey Henderson said...

Sweet merciful christ, the deluded lunatic has awarded Rickey the Golden Cock of Excellence!

http://lordlikely.co.uk/2008/01/golden-cock-rises-again.html

You sir have made Rickey's weekend! Now comes the hard debate over where precisely to place the award on his website...

Lord Likely said...

I suggest using it as your new banner.

Nothing catches the eye like a glittering, golden cock, after all.

Harris said...

Hey Ricky,

If making lists of recs not connected were illegal, I think McSweeney's coulda been sued itslef (Im pretty sure Larry King's been doing stuff like that your years...but in a non-hipsteresque way)

Rock On,

Aitch