Monday, January 28, 2008

Rickey Recommends

This is where Rickey posts recommendations of noteworthy consumables, practices, and pastimes that have been deemed invaluable for the reader’s betterment. All products and pieces of advice listed herein have been Rickey tested and approved. Again, this is in no way shape or form a complete rip off of McSweeney’s (fa-la-la-la-la, lawyers, Rickey can’t hear you). Enjoy this week’s installment of

RICKEY RECOMMENDS

Temperance. Here are two fun facts that Rickey wishes he’d remembered going into this past weekend: 1) alcohol is a depressant (or in some cases, a rage inducer) and, 2) a keg contains 150 beers. Turns out, that’s an awful lot of Old Milwaukee Light to consume when only six people out of a party of ten are beer drinkers. But hey, if you spent the weekend in a frozen, snowy region of the country in which students pretty much ride tauntauns to class, you’d have opted for the keg as well.

The Felice Brothers. We feel it is our to duty alert you to the presence of this little known folksy/country rock band hailing from the Catskill Mountains. Think something along the lines of the second coming of Bob Dylan or The Band and you’re on the right track. Go check out the track listing at their MySpace page--Rickey’s current favorite track of theirs is “Frankie’s Gun.”

Wearing a watch. Yes, Rickey knows, there’s no need for a watch now that multiple other devices in your life inform you of the time (your computer, cell phone, cable box, that guy who lives in the nearby park and likes to yell at the moon, etc.) but you know what? A little sophistication in the form of a wrist worn timepiece wouldn’t kill you, would it?

Bookmarking one of Rickey’s favorite webpages: Astronomy Picture of the Day. Some seriously awesome photos abound at this site. Take, for example, this incredible photo of a shelf cloud moving over the Saskatchewan prairie in Canada. It’s a pretty breathtaking photo, and Rickey’s pretty sure he’d think the world was coming to an end if he witnessed something like that firsthand.

Downloading the Guitar Hero III Classic Rock Pack at your earliest possible convenience. Here’s the thing: Guitar Hero III is ridiculously hard. So hard that Rickey has yet to beat the career mode. The game has essentially become Rickey’s own personal Vietnam—impossible to win or extricate from. But when new songs are released, Rickey simply must own them, especially when one of them is Journey’s “Any Way You Want it.” Download it, crank up the receiver, and pretend you’re starring in your very own Rodney Dangerfield movie: Annnnnny way you wannnnt it, Thatsssss the way I neeeeeeed it….!

Adopting an American League baseball franchise to root for on the side. This season, Rickey has chosen to follow the exploits of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays (The Fish!). Call us nuts, but they seem like they’ll be a fun team to watch very soon…

Mobile 17. Hey kids, tired of paying unscrupulous service providers for ringtones? Ever wanted to flaunt your originality with something unique? Perhaps a ringtone of Willie Nelson singing “Danny Boy”? Well then, Mobile 17 has all your needs covered—they let you upload songs directly from your pc to their server and then send you the song. All you pay for is the text message. Now comes the hard part of deciding what ringtone best defines Rickey as an individual.

Keeping on the lookout for ninjas! Indeed, the NYC Ninja bandit has struck again. The people who were robbed whine a lot about how they feel violated and whatnot, but frankly, we think they should feel honored. Because really, how many people get robbed by ninjas these days? That burglar was ambitious enough to take the time and effort to learn the ways of the ninja and then completely pervert them by stealthily scaling up the side of your building and robbing you silly. Of course this would all seem much less funny if Rickey was unfortunate enough to live in Staten Island. But he isn’t, so therefore it is.

And remember, a click on Humor-Blogs is a click for victory.*

*Actually, apparently it isn’t since Rickey’s site received rather low marks by their reviewers, thereby assigning a ridiculously low ranking to RwR. This is indeed a deepening crisis which Rickey will be addressing tomorrow as he angrily defends his work like a Down's Syndrome afflicted preschooler after constructing his first sand castle.

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22 comments:

mr. met said...

While talking about ninjas, this is great.

Guitar Hero III is rough. I got through medium, but hard just isn't even fun. It's not fun at all. These things are not supposed to stress you out, but rather help relieve stress, no?

If you like folk/country stuff, you should check out Lucero. They have some punk roots and lay down some nice indie/folk/country stuff. Check out their earlier stuff.

Watches are a sign of civility. If you are not civil, a watch can go a long way to covering that up.

Smitty said...

Temperance

Sorry, Rickey. Smitty disagrees whole-heartedly. Instead, it should be "Not drinking 25 yellow fizzy waters." But temperance? That's for people afraid of the fact that they have no self control.

I know I have no self control, but I do not fear it. I embrace it.

Rickey Henderson said...

Mr Met: Rickey's actually struggling to beat the final song on EASY. That Devil Went Down to Georgia song is off the freaking hook. Goddamnned Lou.

Smitty: perhaps temperance was a poor word choice. "not being dumb enough to purchase a keg for 6 people" is more accurate.

mr. met said...

If you are having trouble on Easy, you'll love it on Medium.

I hope you are buying the extra songs from the store. Plenty off good ones in there and The Fall of Troy song is a fun one. It is on par with some of the harder songs in the game.

My dog is not a fan of the game. Every time it goes on, she hides. She thinks something is inherently evil about the game.

Self control is overrated.

MP said...

"...like a Down's Syndrome afflicted preschooler after constructing his first sand castle."

You ever have one of those laugh out loud moments in class when the prof is lecturing about Article 13 of the Judiciary Act of 1789 so you have to cover it up with a cough ala Peter Griffin and his flatulence? I just did.

Anonymous said...

mp - To answer your question, no I haven't. Mainly because I learned about the Judiciary Act of 1789 back in sixth grade.

What's on the agenda for tomorrow, Schoolhouse Rock?

Rickey Henderson said...

Play nice. Rickey's miffed enough today without anonymous commenters being snarky pricks.

Anonymous said...

Sorry Rickey, I'll try. At least I didn't mention his Family Guy reference. Next thing you know he's going to start posting Austin Powers quotes.

MP said...

I'm sure you covered the grammatical implications of the semicolon in section 13 in determining whether or not the the Act authorizes SCOTUS to issue writs of mandamus under original or appellate jurisdiction and how Marshall elegantly sidestepped so many of the issues that had the nation ready to devolve into a civil war while still establishing the power of judicial review and subsequent authority of the judicial branch in sixth grade. And don't worry, next time I'll make a Newshour with Jim Lehrer reference to suit your high-class tastes.

MP said...

And to answer your question anonymous...the syllabus has conjunction junction listed for tomorrow, but I don't know if we'll have enough time.

Anonymous said...

No, that was seventh grade.

MP said...

Touche anonymous internet comment poster tough guy, touche.

Anonymous said...

Well played guy with an undeserved heightened sense of self-importance because he's in law school like 80% of the people in this country. Well played.

MP said...

I'd be the first to admit that you're much more intelligent than me and probably better looking. If anything, my self-esteem is in the toilet and you just courtesy flushed my last remaining shred of dignity.

Seriously, I appreciate it.

MP said...

Oops. You forgot to add "immature family guy viewer who finds toilet and dick jokes humorous with a ridiculously overblown ego based on one less-than-stellar prom night experience with an ethnic prostitute."

Anonymous said...

Ah... self-deprecation, the sanctuary of the outwitted.

MP said...

Fried foods.

MP said...

And, yes, Dangerfield was always clearly outwitted.

Anonymous said...

http://www.spotinheaven.com

For those people that are lovers of baseball.. It surely is the game they play in heaven.

After Rugby Union of course.

Toasty Joe said...

I have nothing to add other than (1) the new banner looks great, and (2) if RIckey's going to be a fan of the Tampa baseball club, he should realize that they have nnow officially dropped "Devil" from their name, leaving only "Rays."

Rickey Henderson said...

Thanks again for referring your buddy--he did a terrific job Toasty.

As as far as the Rays' name goes, you'd think that sort of thing matters to Rickey, but in reality, not so much. They'll always be the Devil Rays to Rickey.

Anonymous said...

mp stinks.