Its primary day in Iowa: a day which, if the bevy of breathless political pundits is to be believed, is kind of a big deal. So if you’re living in the Hawkeye State and you’re reading this, beware the charms and tasty bass licks of Mike Huckabee. Indeed, he seems rather pleasant and helpful, right? Perhaps he reminds you of your next door neighbor or maybe even that cute GEICO Gecko? Honestly now, how could anyone not fall for the GOP version of Jimmy Carter?
Easily, Rickey says. Because underneath that veneer of bland affability lies something rather insidious: unlike his posturing GOP competitors, Huckabee is actually a legitimate religious fundamentalist. And he’s the part of the current alarming trend in U.S. Politics that values public declarations of religious faith over a working knowledge of domestic and international affairs. Can’t find Syria on a map? No worries, just have yourself photographed entering and leaving as many places of worship as possible while on the campaign trail and you’re a shoe in for president.
In short, Huckabee kind of reminds us of Greg Stillson from “The Dead Zone.” You know: “The missiles are flying! Hallelujah, Hallelujah!”
Yeah, him. Maybe Rickey’s naive, but isn't this the Twenty-First Century? Isn't it high time we elected our first 21st Century president who believes in evolution and the separation of church and state? Look, we enjoy living in a predominantly decadent, conservative, borderline medieval nation as much as the next person, but voting in another fire and brimstone candidate completely scares the bejesus out of Rickey. And it should scare you too.
Honestly, if Rickey were an Iowan, he’d be caucusing for Dennis Kucinich tonight. He’s the voice (granted the pixiesque one) of genuine antiwar liberalism. And despite being an apparent Roswell escapee and outright moonbat, he’s got Rickey’s endorsement to hold the highest office in the land. Call us nuts, but we kind of value authenticity here at RwR…
And even if you don't enjoy the delightful possibility of the nation being led by a man whose favorite movie is "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" doesn't tickle your fancy, today is still a day to sit back, relax, and watch the reports of voter fraud in Iowa trickle in. See, from time to time, Rickey enjoys embracing the madness. (To a point). Seriously, watch out for Huckabee you backwards Iowan troglodytes.