Friday, January 18, 2008

Rickey's Friday Roundup

It’s the terminal day of the week and Rickey feels like posting some links for your his own damn personal amusement (and, possibly, yours). This is part of a twofold strategy consisting of educating you, the reader, as much as possible, but doing so in the least intellectually taxing manner in the process. So here are a few items of interest that you may have missed while attempting to drive your way home through a snowstorm while sporting a tuxedo and a grim smile:

A good buddy tipped Rickey off to this completely bizarre WFAN Steve Sommers/Tom Coughlin interview that took place last night. You need to listen to this pronto—Sommers apparently took the highly unorthodox method of cold calling the Giants’ head coach and Coughlin quickly upped the ante by going batshit insane. As a rule, we like listening to disastrously awkward interviews that end with the phrase “screw you.” Listen to this now.

And speaking of football, certain folks have been wheedling Rickey for his predictions for Sunday’s NFL Championship games. So here you go: Rickey is forecasting a New York/New England Superbowl this year, thereby alienating and aggravating the entire Midwest football fan demographic. It’s kind of like the “and I fucking care about this why?” sentiment voiced by the average baseball fan in heartland America whenever the Yanks play the BoSox and ESPN covers the event like it’s an Ali/Frazier match. Indeed, against our better wisdom, Rickey’s going with team loyalty over any iota of sports knowledge and is picking the Giants over the Packers, 21 to 10. We’ve got a hunch Big Blue is going to win people a whole lotta money this weekend… And as far as the Chargers go, as much as we’re tantalized by the prospect of a Giants/Chargers Superbowl, San Diego is not making it out of Foxboro alive and intact. Incidentally, how awesome would a San Diego/New York matchup be? Imagine a Superbowl starring the very best quarterback talent in the league. You know, the absolute cream of the crop:

It’s kind of like that Predator vs Aliens movie: whoever wins, we all lose. Ahhh--we kid poor Eli, he does finally seem to be blossoming into a promising young quarterback. But as far as the Chargers go, realistically, there’s no way that jackass Philip Rivers is capable of mounting a meaningful offensive against the Pats in Gillette Stadium in front of thousands of Massholes. So Rickey's phoning in his pick of Patriots 31, Chargers 14. And those are Rickey’s pics. For fear of further alienating our non-football enthusiast readers, we'll stop with the NFL talk for now. However, Rickey will elaborate upon his predictions if prodded appropriately in the comments section.

Meanwhile in the realm of cinematic endeavors, Rickey, in a last ditch effort to be hip, is giving serious consideration to seeing this “Cloverfield” movie that all the kids are buzzing about. If only to yell “too soon!” when the giant monster shows up and buildings start collapsing in NYC, thereby preying on post 9-11 anxieties. Indeed, look for Rickey and Ms. Henderson to pop a few motion sickness pills (the whole film is shot in that shakey-cam “Blair Witch” style) and head out to the multiplex to see if this newfangled monster movie is any good. We’ll report back next week.

For those looking to maintain their economic astuteness, Paul Krugman has a great op-ed piece on the nation’s current financial woes. Call Rickey nuts, but somehow, the Bush Administration’s plan to fend off a full blown recession with yet another round of tax cuts just seems a tad ill conceived. Either you’re from the school of thought that states that government has no place meddling in economics, or you believe that much more expansive corrective action is needed. Sorry, but there’s no middle ground on this issue. And yet the Bush Administration tries to find it nonetheless. But hey, if the U.S. Government wants to roll out a half baked political gesture in the form of minor tax breaks and give Rickey a few extra bucks in his pocket to spend on the alcohol and videogame industries, then who are we to argue?

And in the wondrous world of celebrity gossip (no worries, we’re not turning into E! just yet) here’s a link to that Tom Cruise Scientology video that was yanked from YouTube earlier this week. Rickey knew that Tom Cruise was insane, but this goes far beyond everything we’d come to expect from him. Seriously, this guy is off the freaking chain. Can someone explain to Rickey how anyone can be so zealous about a far flung belief system that was created thanks to a wager in a bar? Do yourself a favor and watch the whole thing. It slowly builds up in intensity and insanity and finally culminates with the cringe inducing “crazy Tom Cruise laugh” we all know and love.

And on that note, Rickey’s out. Enjoy the weekend folks. And go visit Humor-Blogs if you feel like giving Rickey’s (and theoretically your) internet social standing a boost.

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14 comments:

Mikey P said...

Awe Shucks looks like that most of the time, even without the beer in his hands.

Here is a spoiler pic of the cloverfield monster toy:
http://www.movieweb.com/news/38/25538.php

I think it would have been much better if Godzilla and Rodan were the monsters. I will wait for Rickey's review.

Finally, it is strange that the word most used in Tom Cruise's super sweet video was "help". Throw in a few "im not afraid to push my beliefs on people" and we have a brand of help that I would love to have come my way. At least he won an award from the Scientology community....

Rickey Henderson said...

Mikey: FYI, that aint the real picture. The real image of the beastie (which Ricky has been avoiding for fear of spoilers) can be found hither

http://i13.tinypic.com/6wpalx5.jpg

Rickey is definitely curious about this movie. The movie seems like a great product of our times. The 9-11 feeling that the film is trying to convey mirrors how the Godzilla films tapped into the 1950's Atomic Age fears (i.e, Hiroshima). Sure maybe it's arguably tasteless and manipulative, but maybe we should be scared a little bit, you know? Rickey digs movies that tap into primal fears and capture the zeitgeist.

The Tom Cruise clip is fascinating because he really does seem to believe he's an action hero in real life. The only guy capable of "helping" people, whatever that means. So suck it nurses, paramedics, doctors, fireman, and police officers!

Chris C said...

I picked Green Bay this week but I wouldn't be surprised if the New York football Giants pull it out.

If Tom Brady goes down with an injury, then maybe San Diego has an outside shot.

steves said...

Go Packers. I watched a few scrimmages at training camp this summer and I really didn't expect them to do this well, so I am happy no matter what happens.

That being said, I don't see the Giant's D holding Green Bay to 10 points.

Brett Favre said...

Rickey, why you be hatin' on me so bad?

Mike said...

But hey, if the U.S. Government wants to roll out a half baked political gesture in the form of minor tax breaks and give Rickey a few extra bucks in his pocket to spend on the alcohol and videogame industries, then who are we to argue?

Exactly.

Toasty Joe said...

I am sure Rickey realizes that Steve Somers was not, in fact, conversing with the actual Tom Coughlin on that clip, right?

Rickey Henderson said...

Sadly yes, Rickey learned that it was a hoax... (being the gullible type, he didn't wasn't aware at first).

Mike said...

Hmmmm, and I sent the link to a couple friends.

MP said...

Best part about the Coughlin "interview" was that Somers took 3 or 4 calls of people telling him "never let anyone talk to you like that Schmooze" capped by a guy who sounded like he was going to kill himself almost crying and Somers trying to tell the man that it wasn't really Coughlin. Hilarity ensued.

the frogster said...

That Scientology video is really scary. Nice pick on the Giants, Rickey. I'm bummed out but the Packers didn't deserve to win. Poop.

Rickey Henderson said...

Mike: sorry, Rickey had thought it was legit until the folks at Metsgeek debunked it for him. But hey, it's still funny, no?

Mp: Hilarity always ensues on a Steve Sommers broadcast. Welcome to the wondrous world of jewtacular sports radio.

Froggy: Rickey is now 2 for 2 this weekend. Suck it long. And suck it hard. (Trebek).

mr. met said...

Connery: I'll take the rapists for $800. Trebek: That's therapists!

Chris C said...

Going into the Super Bowl matchup the standings are...

Me 6-4 .600
Rickey 5-3 .625
Frogster 5-5 .500

It comes down to who picks the Giants and who picks the Pats...