Thursday, January 24, 2008

Has Blogging Gone Too Far? Story at 11!

Much to our general consternation and bewilderment, Rickey was tagged by Amy at Remote Access for a meme listing 8 random things about him. What’s a meme, you might ask? As far as we can deduce, it’s pretty much any idea that can be spread by imitation from blog to blog (i.e., a joke, a jingle, a trend, a list, a virus, or the creeping suspicion that Johan Santana will remain on the Twins in 2008). The recipient of the meme must fulfill their requirement, and forward the meme on to others.

Indeed, it's essentially a reimagining of the chain letter fad. And Rickey has it on good authority that if you don’t forward this, the Illuminati will come into your house and sodomize you repeatedly in your sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by Peter in 5 AD. And so, much to our delight, the torch has been passed on to Rickey. In this meme, Rickey has been asked to "list 8 random (but true) things" about him. You want random? Okey dokey then, we’ll give you random. Here we go:

1) Rickey possesses a baseball glove autographed by George Pataki.

2) Rickey flat out refuses to eat pancakes if no milk is available to eat them with. Similarly, Rickey will not eat eggs if orange juice is unavailable.

3) Growing up, Rickey’s cat was named “Busbequis,” after an obscure Polish poet. This was not Rickey’s doing—“Tisbury” was Rickey’s pick.

4) Rickey has never broken a bone in his body. But Rickey has been either present or to blame every time his sibling has.

5) Rickey once ate a piece of wasabi the size of a golf ball.

6) While at a bar, Rickey was personally advised by Andy Rooney to quit smoking.

7) When playing a video game in which the character has an inventory and money is collected & spent, Rickey is notoriously stingy.

8) Rickey’s favorite sandwich is the tongue sandwich.

9) Rickey is a Freemason.

10) In high school, Rickey was the subject of a prank orchestrated by Richard Nixon’s godson tricking Rickey into thinking that he had been accepted by Columbia University. This is why Rickey is a registered Democrat.

11) Rickey was pulled out by his ears.

12) When he burns CDs to play in his car, Rickey writes generic labels on the discs such as “Random Mix #7” with the assumption that 4 months from now, Rickey will remember what the hell is recorded on “Random Mix #7.” This is rarely the case.

Alright, so we got carried away and went over the limit of 8. But we feel like these are the sort of things you need to know about Rickey. Rickey apologizes for nothing. And now to target some other unsuspecting fools as the vectors for this meme. Let’s see here…

Toasty Joe
Mr. Met
Lord Likely
Mr. Furious
Egan Foote
Ed The Gent

Tag, shmohawks, you’re it. We’ve selected more than 8 because there’s a good chance this is old news to some of you folks by now, and damned if Rickey is going to risk 30 years of bad luck or whatever it is that happens to people who don’t pass on memes. So arise, internet minions, and act accordingly. And while you’re at it, give the folks at Humor-Blogs a visit. They’re balls deep in memes over there.

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Smitty said...

Okay, Rickey. I did your bidding.

I tagged the other contributors at Around the Keg...that's the benefit of having multiple bloggers on one blog. Cheating, I know, but it ends there.

AmyV said...

I just want to say that I threatened Ricky with neither the Illuminati nor sodomizing when I tagged him.

Being a girl, I just went, "sniff," when he wondered what the punishment might be for not meme-ing, and thus made him feel bad.

Also, a golf-ball-sized wasabi? Really? Color me impressed.

Rickey Henderson said...

Smitty: many thanks--you're a mensch.

Amy: sure, you say that now...

Toasty Joe said...

Done and done.

Ed the Gent said...

As requested. Hardly cathartic, I should add.

mr. met said...

Fuck memes. But just as an aside, what if I enjoy sodomy? Should I just not fill it out?

Chris C said...

"You ever wonder why people smoke? It's not like it is enjoyable and your fingers smell..."
"Ok Andy, if I say I quit will you shut up?"

The cast of Sixty Minutes wishes it was that easy to get the man to be quiet.

On a side note thank God you didn't tag me I hate those stupid things.

Rickey Henderson said...

Ed: Many Thanks.

Mr. Met: Sodomy is pretty much a good motivation for anything, so yes, definitely go ahead and fill it out. A pox upon you if you do not.

Chris: Rooney's exact line was "You knowwwwwww, those things will kill you" (in the squeaky Andy Rooney voice). Heh, Rickey didn't tag you becuase he figured you'd already been subjected to one by one of the Humor-Blogs folks.

Egan Foote said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Toasty Joe said...

Rickey, what's the deal with this?

Rickey Henderson said...

Toasty: Rickey's got his crack legal team working on it now.

Rickey takes serious offense to the Daily News' characterization of Rickey as a "Famous Yankees Star."

That's like saying Alexandr Solzhenitsyn is a famous Vermont resident.

Tim Raines said...

For a self-proclaimed liberal, you sure are into censorship.

P.S. I'm faster than you and Jose Reyes said I'm better in bed.

Rickey's Legal Team said...

I looked into it. You lose. Our bill is on its way. Pay up this time, deadbeat.

Rickey Henderson said...

Rickey eludes conventional political classification. And yep, we censor when issues of pride are on the line.

PS: How's that 4th place in career stolen bases working out for you Tim?

Vince Coleman said...

Does anyone have any firecrackers I can borrow?

AmyV said...

wow. this devolved quickly.

Bee said...

I feel the same way about #2 (not #2 from Austin Powers or the other number two)! I will not eat pancakes if ice cold milk is not provided.
I send them back and say "Mom, You are slacking!"

just kidding moms everywhere...

Lord Likely said...

I've heard that this memes are highly contagious, and can spread like wildfire in mere minutes.

Is there an ointment I can get, or something?

A Meme Cream, mayhaps?

Alex said...

rickey should watch out: if he keeps up this blogging thing, he might appear on a 'bloggers gone wild' video.

Rickey Henderson said...

Amy: things tend to do that around here. Next week, fiery ninjas on motorcycles.

Bee: indeed, ice cold milk... mmmm...

Good Lord: sadly, there's no balm for internet cliches.

Theresa said...

Original take on this meme. So, was your cat as weird as his name?

Mike said...

Here's Random Fact No. 1 as to why you won't be seeing the other 7 for a few more days: I didn't get home from work 'til 3:00 last night, and I'm tired, cranky, achey, and in no mood for fun and shenanigans.

But, wishing no late-night visits from the Illuminati, I'll do my best soon enough.

Pope Terry said...

Well that whole Nixon clan was trouble werent they.

BrentD said...

Nixon and the illumanti, you pick you foes poorly.

Mike said...

Ok, mine's up. Delayed but done.

Rickey Henderson said...

Theresa: other than occasionally bringing back live snakes and baby rabbits, he's a relatively well adjusted feline.

Mike: many thanks.

Brentd: Rickey would like to think he chose wisely

George said...

I've been spending the week with Angelina Jolie around my neck (ok, it's just that her photo is on the nametag for staff at this event), but I've done this meme twice over now, so go read those.