Tuesday, November 6, 2007

We Don't Mean to Alarm You, But Sean Combs Might Kill You if You Don't Vote Today

Just in case you were unaware, today, November 6th, is election day. More importantly, today is also a federal holiday, so Rickey gets to stay home from work and be a magnificently lazy bastard. Other than returning some videos and moseying on down to the local polling station, Rickey has very little on the docket for a rainy Tuesday. Best of all, the polling station resides right around the corner from Rickey's apartment, thereby providing Rickey with the enticing option of strolling into a Baptist Church to cast his vote wearing a bathrobe.

(And speaking of Baptists, can someone please explain to us what the deal is with the Mazda SUV commercial featuring a gospel choir singing jubilantly around it? We've heard of demographic marketing, but this is a little excessive, no? Can Rickey own one? Seriously, Rickey isn't even sure if he's allowed to test drive one of these cars without being required to pay reparations of some sort.)

Ahem. Anyway, ultimately Rickey doesn't have much in the way of advice to give you this election day other than go vote. Or don't if you're not feeling like it. Just don't come complaining to Rickey when your local county clerk seriously loses his shit and absconds to Hawaii with $50,000 of taxpayer money and a small marmot named Oscar. You, the individual voter, will have dropped the ball on that one, not Rickey. So go cast your ballot--it grants you the freedom to bitch and whine about politics.

Still in need of further election day guidance? Well then, proceed hither to read up on the party affiliations of some of your favorite superheroes. Because reading up on how Captain America is actually a Truman Democrat is well worth the mouse click.

Finally, for all those of you like Rickey searching for a way to turn election day into a drinking game, Wonkette has your needs covered.

Enjoy election day folks, and be proud of the fact that you live in America, a country in which, according to Lee Greenwood, "At you know you're free." So really, as Mr. Greenwood so masterfully reminds us, it could always be worse. You could be free and not even know it.

Stumble Upon Toolbar

8 comments:

Diesel said...

Ok, hang on. It says you posted this at 7:14 on Tuesday, and right now it's 9:26pm on Monday.

Tell you what - why don't you post who won tomorrow morning and then I'll decide whether it's worth my time to vote.

Rickey Henderson said...

No deal. Rickey's off tomorrow (see body text) and figured he'd get a jump start on things by forward time stamping. If you have an issue, take it up with the blogger community, not Rickey. We're fucking bulletproof.

P.S.: vote early, vote often.

Rickey Henderson said...

Also, Mondale totally won.

Fletch said...

Dewey defeats Rickey!!!

Gregg said...

Reminds of of an old SouthPark I saw... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hdvhVeT_m0

Egan Foote said...

Voting is for jerks and lesbians.

Egan, out!

Adam said...

Diddy, you want a piece of this?

Bring it!

Smitty said...

Aquaman is a total lefty democrat too; bleeding-heart environmentalist.

Also, there were 2 Green Lanterns. A white one and one who appeared to be of African American descent. Would they both be Republicans? Is that a requirement of being the Green Lantern?