*Rule #101 of of blogging: no matter how big or important your snarky blog may have become, posting a picture of a lolcat is necessary from time to time. Respect the lolcat--it's the blogging equivalent of bread & circuses.
Hey kids, you know what’s fun? Using the internet to unabashedly spy on people. And thanks to the wonderful folks at Sitemeter, Rickey can do percisely that. No, we’re not talking about anything sketchy, so have no fear; Rickey isn’t hiding in the bushes outside your house with high powered binoculars or anything like that. Instead, we just like to periodically check up on exactly how people find their way to this website. The most intriguing of these ways is to look at specific key word searches that led folks right here to RwR.
Here’s how it works. Let’s say this site contained the use of the phrase or words “roaming monkey death squad” (it does). A keyword search in Google or Yahoo would yield this site as a possible match for one’s query. And like a moth to flame, a visitor would find themselves inexplicably drawn to this fierce playground of irreverence. Unfortunately, the people at Sitemeter only let us look back at the 100 most recent hits, so that means it only goes back a day or so. However, within those 100 referrals are some interesting keyword searches.
And now, for the first time ever, Rickey is sharing this proprietary information with you in the hope of: a) giving you a peek behind at the wizard behind the curtain, and b) pimping his previous writings. How very meta. So come along as we take a peek at the manner in which wayward souls find themselves stumbling upon Rickey's site. First, the image searches:
Someone searching for an image of Giada Laurentiis (hot, hot, hot… This did not prevent Rickey from deriding her food making abilities however.)
Someone searching for an image of Larry David (Every now and then we like to post a picture of him to remind folks how perfect he’d be for the role of The Vulture in Spiderman 4).
And now the keyword searches from Google and Yahoo:
- chicken tender buffalo wings (And damned tasty ones too—we hope they tried Rickey’s recipe)
- rickey henderson facts (Well, duh.)
- mets emblem pumpkin (Ya think the guy is pissed we didn’t have instructions on how to carve a Mets themed pumpkin? Hm, now that we think about it, so are we.)
- kyle brandt sky mall (Yeah, no clue. That one is just odd.)
- endy chavez drag bunt (We’re the first site to pop up for that search. Awesome. Endy takes way too much shit from Mets fans.)
- "He is Vigo" "Like the buzzing of flies" (Damn, that one takes us back.)
- shawn green batting cage (Uh what? Was someone really looking for the same batting cage that Greenie uses?)
- the bloody mary airplane (You know, we'd always wondered what the antithesis of Virgin Airlines would be...)
- "Dick Cheney" "The New Yorker" "Jack-o-lantern" (Evidently they were searching for that recent New Yorker cover.)
- Mets Brick Fanwalk (Try as you might, your inscription will never be as snarky as Rickey’s.)
And now on to the more puzzling and frightening search keywords:
- naked riding cult horse (Pardon?)
- Masturbatorium Gulag (What. The. Fuck. Well, if you’re going to end up in a gulag, we guess that one featuring a masturbatorium is probably the way to go.)
And finally, here’s the icing on the cake:
- "Dorky Volvo" (This website is in the third goddamned page of results that pops up. And frankly, that’s far too close for comfort. This fucking stings. Evidently RwR is your one stop shop for all things tragically unhip about the Sweedish automotive industry. See, this why Rickey is saving up for a new car. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.)
And on that note, that concludes this installment. Rickey will make a habit of sharing this info with you from time to time because, well, it makes him giggle.