Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Introducing the Second Annual Riding with Rickey Pumpkin Carving Competition

When it comes to whimsical arts and crafts, Rickey is nothing if not a fierce competitor. So last October, Rickey got all festive and whatnot and opted to run a pumpkin carving contest here at RwR. Yet despite the simple allure of holiday frivolity, we received exactly two submissions: Rickey’s and his younger brother’s. So in the spirit of fairness and to avoid a potential conflict of interest, the grand prize of ten pounds of assorted smoked fish went woefully unawarded. But this year, now that our readership has expanded a bit outside of Rickey’s immediate family, we’re giving this contest another shot. So welcome gang, to the 2008 RwR Halloween Jack-Off Invitational. The rules are fairly simple:

1) You carve a jack-o-lantern
2) You take a picture of aforementioned jack-o-lantern
3) You email this picture to Rickey at manofsteal@live.com
4) Rickey proceeds to judge your merits as a human being based solely on your ability to create art from an inanimate gourd

Fairly simple, n'est-ce pas? It’s good wholesome family fun, featuring knives, merciless competition, and the hefty assignment of scorn and ridicule. The submission deadline is Wednesday October 29th. The winner gets their jack-o-lantern photoshopped into a nifty composition of Rickey’s own creation. Now go forth and lobotomize yourself a cucurbita.

[Posted at Humor Blogs]

Stumble Upon Toolbar

10 comments:

Haley said...

Sniff, sniff... you don't remember my submission? If I wasn't drawing a complete blank on what I carved last year, my heart might be a wee bit broken by that.

Rickey Henderson said...

Wait, you submitted something last year Haley? Rickey doesn't seem to remember that... thanks for briefly filling Rickey's heart with false guilt...

The Acorn King said...

Great idea Rickey. What if I wanted to carve a turkey, does that count?

George said...

Damn wish I did one of these.

Alex said...

Then the game is afoot! Like last year, my submissions to this contest will be substantial in both quantity and quality. Be warned, my carving techniques and creativity will be in full form and these works of art will reign down with the supreme force of the gods.

In short, they will be Orlando Jack-o-Lanterns.

Rickey Henderson said...

acorn: what part of a pumpkin carving contest confuses and befuddles you?

george: easy there buddy, don't stir the pot. Ms Henderson had a hard enough time talking Rickey out of a Mr. Met themed pumpkin.

Alex: alright punk, it's on like Donkey Kong. Way to scare off anyone from submitting by the way. Rickey was really hoping to get a ton of submissions and not give off the impression that the Henderson boys are like Ken & Ric Burns, competing for their mother's love via art. Well done schmohawk. Rickey will enjoy trouncing your feeble submission.

muskrat said...

what if i just carve up the muthaf*cker who lets his dog shit my yard every day instead?

i'll send my submission if the mrs. will allow me to play with knives again, post "incident."

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

I usually avoid wholesome family fun, but I'll see what I can do.

Doug at Taunt Vortex said...

Is part of this year's prize the same 10 pounds of assorted smoked fish?

That would be truly horrific.

Smitty said...

The Smitty family is obtaining pumpkins this evening. We shall carve them to the best of our ability.

Keep in mind, of the 5 Smittys:
--2 can't hold objects yet;
--1 has an attention span equivalent to his age in seconds;
--2 consider stick-figures to be the extent of their artistic ability.

Up to you to guess which Smitty fits each profile.