Friday, October 10, 2008

Your Weekly Political Linkage

One of the curious things about the McCain cabal is that as the election draws nearer, they increasingly behave like the velociraptors from “Jurassic Park,” testing the perimeter of the electric fence designed to contain then by angrily hurling themselves against it. The most recent example of this comes from one Cindy McCain (who as luck would have it, even resembles a raptor) as she said that “The day that Senator Obama decided to cast a vote to not fund my son while he was serving sent a cold chill through my body, let me tell you.” Hey Cindy, you know what gives Rickey a chill? Oxycontin addicted Stepford Wives who use their children’s military service for political gain. Rickey ain’t cool with that. And while we’re at it, let’s take a peek at some of the other developments transpiring in the wonderful world of politics that Rickey may or may not be cool with.

Little to Rickey’s surprise, the Richard Ayers talk continues to heat up. Pop quiz hotshots, what’s worse: what someone you know did when you were eight OR what you did when you were in your fifties with, uh, say… …Charlie Keating?

From the “Shit Yeah!” Department, the sheriff who pointedly used Barack Obama’s middle name in a recent Sarah Palin rally is being investigated by the government for violating federal election laws.

Transition team? Bah, John McCain cares not for your silly transition team. John McCain needs no training. Day one in the Oval Office, he’s going to whip out his balls and put them on the Resolute desk. Bam, there’s your fucking transition team.

Wishy washy liberals such as George Will and Michele Malkin have foolishly opted not to pledge their unwavering support and fealty to POW John McCain and instead have recently voiced their misgivings about him.

And in a complete surprise move, the NRA is endorsing John McCain. [Insert "cold dead hands" joke here.]

In the latest indication that the GOP has nominated the Manchurian Candidate to run for president, John McCain addressed a crowd by referring to them as “my fellow prisoners.” Delightful.

This week in voter fraud, the entire lineup for the Dallas Cowboys was discovered to have registered to vote in the state of Nevada. Rickey wonders, why couldn’t they take the Michael Vick route and use “Ron Mexico” instead?

Apparently, Barak Obama’s pronouncement of the word Pakistan bothers some people. That’s funny, because Rickey tends to pronounce the word as “I don’t give a flying fuck, I’m voting for the cool headed guy who doesn’t scare the living shit out of me”

Sarah Palin is dropping the puck at the Philadelphia Flyer’s home opener. And if Rickey knew or cared even the slightest bit about the sport of hockey, you’d better believe that Rickey would craft a brilliant sketch around this premise. But given the fact that the game is being played in one of the most union friendly and blue cities in the country, we’re assuming that the opening ceremony to the game will go something like this: “Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the Republican candidate for… BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” Remember, these people booed Santa…

Finally, the New Yorker has a fun article discussing the various buzzwords we’ve heard used by the candidates and the media over the course of this election. Rickey’s personal picks for phrases that require retiring: “sea change” and “perfect storm.” We are no longer a predominantly nautical civilization and our insipid political buzz phrases need to be adjusted accordingly.

[posted at Humor Blogs]

Stumble Upon Toolbar

11 comments:

Mike said...

We are no longer a predominantly nautical civilization and our insipid political buzz phrases need to be adjusted accordingly.

Then I guess you're not a fan of "cool hand on the tiller" either?

How do you feel about "tie down the prisoner and fetch me the cat, matey"? Or "welcome aboard sailor, ye'll find no wenches here for the next three months. Come to my cabin after dinner"?

I think McCain broke those out in Wichita and Tulsa, respectively, last week.

Sassdawg. said...

Ricky, I'm willing to bet that they throw shit on the ice in Philly. What was she thinking, there are a ton of redneck hockey towns where she could have gone to the game.

That been said, I can't stand Fertilla, so I hope somebody hits her with a half full beer.

Bob said...

"Transition team? Bah, John McCain cares not for your silly transition team..."

There are two major reasons for the lack of a McCain transition team:

1) He's going to lose the election.

2) If he happens to win, the transition will amount to:

"Excuse me Mr. Bush, you are in my chair. Now please introduce me to my new staff."

George said...

You can't blame Philly for the Santa thing--the bastard refused to recognize Elves Union Local 1225.

Bob said...

To add a less-than-funny link to your weekly political linkage, I send you to our friend Mr. Furious who has posted several links to posts about the incidiary rallies being hosted by the McCain campaign.

Smitty said...

We are no longer a predominantly nautical civilization and our insipid political buzz phrases need to be adjusted accordingly.

Yeah, but then we'd have to listen to horrid baseball, football or hockey political buzz phrases.

Rickey Henderson said...

George: damned Kringle and his non-union labor. Look for the inflatable rat to show up outside his workshop this holiday season.

Bob: many thanks for the heads up. Furious, as always, does a great job voicing Rickey's liberal rage.

Rickey Henderson said...

Oh and Smitty: you'll be elated to learn that there's a sports/politics post coming tomorrow. It's going to be a clutch showing. A slam dunk of a post. A real sprint to the finish. A true marathon performance. Rickey's definitely stepping up to the plate to deliver the goods. But don't start dancing in the end zone just yet because you'll have to wait until tomorrow to read Rickey's post and there's still a lot of time on the clock between now and then. In the meantime, the ball is in your court if anyone wants to carry this discussion further.

The Common Man said...

Do you suppose Cindy McCain shuddered on the day her husband cast a vote not to fund her son? Seriously, the tenor of the McCain machine is becoming dispicable. Criticism is ok, but these kinds of unwarrented attacks upon a man's character are, frankly, leading to some really scary behavior by their supporters in the crowds. Chanting "terrorist" and yelling "kill him".

weesle909 said...

Pack-istan, Pock-istan, who gives a shit?

The question is, what will they do with those nucular weapons?

Farmhouse Kitchen Sinks said...

well this is relaly fun stuff is it?