Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Your Weekly Linkage

Happy Tuesday folks. There were naysayers who mocked Rickey and advised him against growing a beard. They warned Rickey a beard would make him too hot in the summer. Well guess what fuckos? Its 50 degrees and raining here in NY and Rickey is keeping nice and warm thanks to his beard. So who’s laughing now? Anyhow, here are a few links that Rickey found moderately worthwhile while perusing the internets.

You know, Rickey hadn’t yet hopped on board the Guitar Hero bandwagon. That is, until now. This is because Rickey just read that the new version features Bret Michaels. Awesome.

What if we were to tell you that a certain website existed. A website that streams entire movies. Movies that may or may not still be showing in theaters. Is that something you’d be interested in? Rickey’s friends in the legal profession will most likely want to sit this one out…

Sad news today as Rickey has learned that Leona Helmsley has succumbed to the grip of death (and taxes). She was a true pioneer, establishing that if a female executive is as abrasive, rude, and corrupt as her male counterparts, she deserves to be treated twice as harshly as any man would be. Because, you know, that's not what we expect from the ladies.

In his internet travails, Rickey recently stumbled upon some baseball de-motivational posters. They're a tad dated, but very funny nonetheless.

Are you an alcoholic wondering how to avoid getting nabbed for drunk driving? Well, rather than taking the roads how about just getting hammered and coming home in a boat? Because really, what’s the worst thing that could happen on the water?

A brilliant fellow known as “Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf” managed to injure himself in a rather unique way. Quoth the captain: "It was the most embarrassing moment of my life...wheeled into a packed A&E on a wheelchair with a Hoover attached to my willie, I just wished the ground could swallow me up." Er, ok, but the fact that you’re named “Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf” and are famous for pulling a vacuum cleaner across a stage with your penis is in no way embarrassing?

In what we’re really hoping isn’t a precursor to an upcoming remake of “The Longest Yard,” Michael Vick will plead guilty to those pesky dog fighting conspiracy charges. Good luck in jail Mikey, Rickey hopes your speed and elusiveness come in handy when you're avoiding shivs in the prison yard.

And finally, you might want to hold off on buying that new Fisher-Price toy piano for a little while.

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Smitty said...

Will Rickey pull vaccuum cleaners across his floor glued to his beard?

Adam said...

Rickey, where are you?