Wednesday, August 15, 2007

This is where Rickey posts recommendations of noteworthy consumables, practices, and pastimes that have been deemed invaluable for the reader’s betterment. All products and pieces of advice listed herein have been Rickey tested and approved. Again, this is in no way shape or form a complete rip off of McSweeney’s (fa-la-la-la-la, lawyers, Rickey can’t hear you). Enjoy this week’s installment of

RICKEY RECOMMENDS:

A pocket appointment book/day planner. Far cooler looking than your run of the mill PDA, a simple pocket organizer harkens back to the golden age when staying organized still had that personal touch. Pick one of these up pronto and start filling it in.

Bioshock for the Xbox 360. Hey kids, do you like wandering around a decaying retro metropolis 18 fathoms underwater and getting the everliving bejesus scared out of you? If you've been looking for a game to play, the Bioshock demo is it—it’s one hell of a technological and artistic achievement. The full version hits stores in the fall.

Going camping. Guess who doesn’t give a flying fuck about your witty blog? That large bear over there next to your tent. (Rickey’s point is that getting back to nature helps recalibrate one’s perspective on things).

Purchasing the Not Just the Best of the Larry Sanders Show DVD set. Rickey never saw a single episode of The Larry Sanders Show while it was running and he really wishes he’d known about it sooner. This show is absolutely hilarious. It’s well written, and Gary Shandling perfectly captures the insecurities that make up a very ego driven business. $10 if you’re not habitually saying “Hey Now!” after watching this.

Not being amiable with anyone, male or female, who thinks Matchbox 20 “rocks” or “kicks ass.” Rickey doesn’t think he needs to explain why this is a good idea. And while we’re being snarky, try to avoid anyone who professes to shop at Aeropostale.

Lying and manipulating your way through your fantasy football draft. Rickey knows very little about American football (or any football, for that matter) and must therefore engage his friends in deceitful conversations before the draft. Rickey plans to feel them out about their battle plans and say things such as, “You know, I don’t even know if I should tell you this, but I think Chad Pennington is going to blow up this year.” (Little does anyone know that Rickey secretly suspects that Chad Pennington’s shoulder is going to detach from his body in Week 3).

Eating well. You know, vegetables and other healthy stuff like that. Some treadmill action is always a winning idea too. Admit it, you thought that Rickey was the kind of guy who eats fried chicken in the bathtub, didn’t you? Well he’s not goddamnit.

“A Series of Dreams” by Bob Dylan. Ever since Rickey heard this song featured on the finale of “John from Cincinnati,” he absolutely cannot get it out his head. But in a good way, because it’s a pretty awesome song and is well worth the 99 cents iTunes charges.

Occasionally quoting the Simpsons. Because a little bit of levity goes a long way to brighten one’s day. One of Rickey’s favorite Simpsons quotes comes from the episode where Mr. Burns buys the local church and fills it with advertising. Lisa looks up at a giant neon Jesus twirling a lasso:

“Why does Jesus have a lasso?” – Lisa
“Because he’s all man.” – Homer

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4 comments:

mr. met said...

Camping is good. Except when you are rolling up the tent in front of your girlfriend and them palm a slug firmly attached to the bottom and jump up and scream like a girl.

All of the weekend's worth of building fires and hunting with your bare hands for sustenance is thrown out the window and your manhood is now in question.

John Peterson said...

Shawn Green, really? Rickey is my favorite player ever, and I like Lastings 'cuz he's got the same 'tude.

Mr Furious said...

Rip Torn's Artie is one of the greatest TV characters of all time.

Great supporting cast with Janeane Garafolo, and both Mrs Palmer and that other guy from 24...

Mr Furious said...

Jeffrey Tambor's Hank is no slouch either.

Much like Jerry Seinfeld, Sanders was not a good actor or even the funny part of the show, but served as the sun for a bunch of great characters to orbit around.