Thursday, August 9, 2007

Your Weekly Linkage

Happy Thursday you inglorious bastards. Yesterday this blog hit 100 posts and we’re quite pleased with this seemingly inconsequential milestone. Indeed, Rickey likes to think of himself as your sherpa in the quest to tackle boredom, your Internet wrangler, your web shepherd, the mercury in your online thermometer. So in hopes of entertaining and informing you, we offer up these following links, which should firmly cement this blog’s reputation as a fierce playground of irreverence. Enjoy them in good health.

Kicking things off is this video clip of someone breaking into a liquor store which will have you crying tears of laughter. Just when you think that things can't escalate any more, they do.

A friend in Boston alerted Rickey to this wicked cool barbershop. In addition to having that old-timey vintage barbershop feel which “takes you back to a time where taking care of how you look was part of being a man” they also serve beer. Can someone please explain to us why there isn’t one of these in NYC?

Everyone’s favorite baseball announcer, Keith Hernandez, has been awarded the honor of possessing the “Top Sports Mustache of all Time” by entity known as The American Mustache Institute. This is awesome on two levels: 1) that Keith Hernandez rather than Rollie Fingers was given this award, and 2) that there’s actually an organization known as the American Mustache Institute. Rickey wonders if they’re tax exempt…

Hey kids, would you like to watch a YouTube clip of Christopher Walken cooking chicken and pears? Damn straight you would. And the inevitable spoof can be found here.

Rickey stumbled upon this picture of Gary Coleman and Mark Messier and feels like you folks need to see it as well. Consider yourself adequately disturbed for the day.

Much to the consternation of some clog wearing Dutchmen, a giant Lego man washed up on a beach in Zandvoort. There’s a “Planet of the Apes” joke in here somewhere, but Rickey’s too lazy to make one up.

And finally, Rickey absolutely loves it whenever Ichiro Suzuki speaks in front of a camera. Slate has written an article compiling some of his choicest quotes. Courtesy of one of Rickey's buddies, here’s a sampling:

When he first arrived in the United States in 2001, Ichiro would not even share his pet's name with a curious reporter. "I do not have the dog's permission," he explained.

After starting this season with a run of multihit games, Suzuki was asked whether he found his performance surprising: "It's not surprising. At the same time, it's not that usual. It's somewhere between usual and surprising," he said.

Before facing off against Red Sox pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka in April, Ichiro said, "I hope he arouses the fire that's dormant in the innermost recesses of my soul. I plan to face him with the zeal of a challenger." And about Tiger Woods, he said, "Tiger is a great golfer, but … when you say athlete, I think of Carl Lewis. When you talk about [golfers or race-car drivers], I don't want to see them run. It's the same if you were to meet a beautiful girl and go bowling. If she's an ugly bowler, you are going to be disappointed."

As the Seattle Times noted this spring, one of Ichiro's favorite off-season activities is recording a Japanese television game show called Ichiro Versus. In the show's free-association contest, for instance, Ichiro and his celebrity guest are given a word and asked to say the first thing that pops in to their heads. (Announcer: "First encounter." Ichiro: "Forgive me, I was just a curious 18-year old.")

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7 comments:

AmyV said...

Um, Rickey, how did you stumble upon that Gary Coleman foto? I really, really, really need to know so that I never accidentally use those same search parameters.

Rickey Henderson said...

Googling the words "Gary Coleman," "Mark Messier" and "Nude" would probably lead you straight to that picture Amy.

(Rickey bumped into it while browsing around Deadspin).

Talk about nightmare fuel...

Smitty said...

What I love about the Japanese language is that there seems to be absolutely no way to accurately translate it. Thus you get gems like you find here.

Be sure to scroll down in the little window on the left to get them all. Hilarity ensues.

Ms. Henderson's BFF said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mr Furious said...

Hey kids, would you like to watch a YouTube clip of Christopher Walken cooking chicken and pears?

Already have!

And the inevitable spoof can be found here.

Surpisingly good! Excellent impersonation, and well-done dialogue...

Toasty Joe said...

That liquor store shithead is one of the funniest videos of all time.

Ms. Henderson's BFF said...

Regarding barbershops that go back in time. My boyfriend and I were up in New England and there is a little barbershop in Seekonk, MA where you step in the door and step back into time. The short caucasion old barber sports a giganticly ridiculous afro of hippie proportions while the pictures and posters on the wall couldn't get any more 80s, the models sporting Miami Vice white shoulder padded jackets and hairdos that can only have belonged to tv shows like 21 jump street and nightcourt. Talk about a time warp.....