Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Your Obligatory Inauguration Day Post

What's that you say, you attended a Barack Obama inauguration party last night? Ah, well that's nice. But was an Obama themed cheesecake served? That's right folks, this is the one and only cheesecake endorsed by Barack Obama. Hope is on the way! (in cheesecake form). Let's just see you just try to get your local bakery to cross party lines like this. Every time you east a tasty morsel of this scrumptious delicacy, Terry McAuliffe and Howard Dean peer into the DNC war chest and exchange high fives! And let Rickey ask you... At your Barack Obama inauguration party, was a fabulous prize awarded to the individual who answered the most trivia questions pertaining to various Bush administration scandals? A signed photo from George and Laura Bush, perhaps? No? Aw, so sad. Clearly, you need to start attending the same parties that Rickey does... What's Rickey going to do with his prize? Probably sell the damned thing on EBay and use the proceeds to buy booze pay the bills. It's a little financial boost we like to refer to as the RwR Economic Stimulus Package.

And so we cast a not-so-fond farewell to eight years of lies, bullying, and outright crime, and we say hello to the new guy. Today is a terrific day. Today, try as Rickey might, it's pretty damned hard to be a cynic. Enjoy the inaugural festivities everyone. In honor of the occasion, Papa Henderson writes in with the following poem--one final parting shot at a terrible terrible leader. Sing us out pops:


Although I'm happy you're now unemployed,
your White House absence leaves a certain void.
Your head was stuck so squarely up your arse
it opened up a rich, full ream for farce
and satire, so pure and unalloyed,
it's like again will never be enjoyed.
With your departure, journalists nowl lose
a standing target for their words and shoes.

Your flubs amused us, though they didn't quite match
the crap we had to suffer on your watch.
But thanks for the comic respite you allowed,
that ray of silver lining in the cloud
of cronyism, greed, oil-lobby ties,
war, torture, fiscal meltdown, lies,
and crackpot fundamentalist disdain
for basic science that defined your reign.

Rest well in Crawford, Chief! Time now for you
to read those other novels of Camus
I don't imagine anyone would buy
a used car from you, "What Me Worry?" guy,
but though the stigma of your reign will stretch
years down the road, I won't completely kvetch.
Unless Ms. Palin somehow gets elected,
No one will match the follies you've perfected,
So take this poem as a tribute and goodbye
as one small part of me breathes one small sigh.

[update] This is absolutely worth tossing in as well: Pete Seeger and The Boss singing "This Land is Your Land" at the Lincoln Memorial Inauguration Concert.  Awesome stuff.  Watch closely for the flanneled great one, George Lucas bopping along in the crowd!

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Smitty said...

Excellent poetry, Rickey.

Happy days are here.

hemanth said...

Watch Barack Obama's Inauguration Live Streaming Online - January 20 - Inauguration of Barack Obama as the 44th President of the United States. Obama and Vice President-elect Joe Biden are due to be sworn in and deliver inauguration speeches next Tuesday in Washington, D.C. Catch Barack Obama Inauguration Day live at


Adam said...

Hemanth is fucking SPAMing the Inauguration???

Dude... wtf?

Chris C said...

This post was added to my
Live Obama Inaugural Humor Blog Roundup

Alex L said...

Laura Bush scares the crap out of me... am I the only one.

Needless To Say said...

Great poem (and sentiment)!

Deb said...

With apologies to Joyce Kilmer:

I think that I shall never see,
A President as bad as Georgie B.

Georgie B, whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the oil men's flowing breast;

Georgie B, who claims to look at God all day,
But actually spit on those who pray;

Georgie B., who did this past summer wear
The highest gas prices in any year;

Upon whose bosom shit has lain;
Who has forced us all to live with pain.

Poems are made by fools like me,
But thank God I'm nothing like Georgie B.

Haley said...

I see your cheesecake, and raise you being in fucking HAWAII during the inauguration.