Monday, January 12, 2009

On Enshrinement and Idiocy

Judging by the fact that the local news stations are running stories about "Famed former Met and Yankee outfielder Rickey Henderson" (which, as a buddy pointed out, is a lot like saying "famous Vermonter Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn") being inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame today, we suppose that we should probably go ahead and say a little something about the guy whose coat tails we, and by extension, you, been riding for the past two years. (When you think about it, in an existential sense, we are all, in effect, riding with Rickey). Today the announcement will come down from high that the baseball gods have deemed Rickey worthy of entry into Cooperstown. But in true Rickey fashion, not without a bit of drama. Not unanimously. As per Yahoo Sports:

"[Rickey Henderson has] been named on 98.6 percent of the published ballots with only one writer — Corky Simpson of the Green Valley News and Sun in Arizona — leaving the best leadoff man in baseball history off his ballot."

Have we ever mentioned how much we utterly despise people who are contrarian for the sake of being contrarian? Simpson voted against Rickey for absolutely no other reason than to prove how much of a beautiful and unique snowflake he is. You want to take a proud stand against a widely held institution? Make it American Idol. Make it the latest Michael Bay movie. We're ok with that. But don't make it Rickey. What exactly makes a joyless prick like this happy? Does the sun seem not so radiant to him? Does he find puppies to be not so adorable? Does music even sound pleasant to a guy like this? And following an uproarious response to this in the blogosophere (we're a bit late to the party), Simpson even attempted a half hearted recantation of his grievous error:

"If I had properly researched the situation, I would have voted for Rickey Henderson if for no other reason than he played for nine ball teams," he said. "Imagine that. He'll be the first Hall of Famer to have a bronze bust with nine caps stacked on his head."


Yeah, nice cheap dig at Rickey's expense. And hey, isn't it kind of your job to "properly research" the situation? Look, in the end, it doesn't matter the circumstances under which Rickey gets in, but we firmly subscribe to the belief that no other player is as flamboyantly deserving of being the first man to be unanimously inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame as Rickey is. Nonetheless, congrats to Rickey on his impending enshrinement. It's a good day for baseball fans everywhere and if the Google hits continue to roll in, it's a good day for this blog as well. We'll toss up the advance copy of the transcript of his HOF induction speech when Rickey makes it available to us.

[posted at Humor Blogs]

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14 comments:

Adam said...

How existential! Were you watching "Inside The Actor's Studio" inbetween plays during that miserable Giants game yesterday?

Say what you will about Corky Simpson, but he does have people talking about him. He is an analog spammer.

The Common Man said...

I tend to agree with you, Rickey. Simpson's decision not to vote for Rickey seems incredibly odd a) given the rest of the guys on his ballot (clearly inferior) and b) that he still had two more slots open to vote for someone. It's hard not to see this as a sportswriter stickin' it to Rickey because of his outstanding flamboyance.

Congratulations on the upcoming induction. I can't wait to hear what should be the single greatest induction speech of all time. Can Rickey introduce himself as a Hall of Famer?

Toasty Joe said...

"Have we ever mentioned how much we utterly despise people who are contrarian for the sake of being contrarian?"

Boy, am I ever with Rickey on this one. I remember some schmendrick movie reviewer in my college newspaper actually panned "Schindler's List," undoubtedly to prove how clever he was and how dense everyone else in the entire world was. I subsequently ran into him at a kegger and asked what the hell was the matter with him.

David said...

It is inconceivable to this loyal reader of Rickey's missives that some doofus had the stupid temerity to fail in the misssion of voting for Rickey.

He no doubt is a miserable fucktard, which of course might be the natural outcome of being named Corky.

steves said...

I remember some schmendrick movie reviewer in my college newspaper actually panned "Schindler's List," undoubtedly to prove how clever he was and how dense everyone else in the entire world was.

There is a difference here. Movies, along with music and other forms of art, are subjective. I thought Schindler's List was a good movie, but I can accept that not everyone likes the same stuff.

Henderson, OTOH, played at a level you just can't ignore. Dislike him all you want, but you can't ignore his achievements.

Anonymous said...

But is Rickey gay?

Rickey Henderson said...

Excellent question, and one which, judging by the google searches leading people to RwR, a lot of people apparently want to know. That and the whereabouts of an illicit Rickey Henderson home video.

To the best of our knowledge, a big negative to both.

Chris C said...

Glad to see RH got in, as well as the first Sawks player I ever followed as a kid growing up: Jim Rice.

Alex L said...

Congrats to Rickey, but why is Simpson on the selection dealy thing if he doesnt know whom Rickey is. Rickey is one of the greatest isnt he? I know nothing about the baseball, but even to me it would seem a pretty obvious decision.

Rickey Henderson said...

Yeah, that's the rub--what in god's name are you doing balloting for the HOF if you don't know about Rickey being available for the first time?

Honestly, chances are it wasn't a mistake as much of a statement. The consensus among HOF voters is that since Babe Ruth wasn't a unanimous induction, then no one else should be. Hence, a few contrarians every year. Pricks.

George said...

Congrats on getting into the HOF, Rickey. You'd get a unanimous vote from us, your readers.

leigh said...

congrats rickey! i'm sure mrs. henderson is very proud.

Mr Furious said...

Simpson's little stunt earned him Dick of the Week at my place. No small feat considering Harry Reid, Blago and Roland Burris had been in a cage match for the honor.

Simpson doesn't even have his excuse-lies in order...Claims he didn't realize, but when his editor pointed it out, he replied "I'm not a Rickey guy. I'll vote for him next time."

Of course, there will be no "next time" since Henderson will go in on the first ballot.

It's not a "I don't vote for anyone the first time eligible" either, since he voted for the completely undeserving Matt Williams.

Clearly Simpson did not want to cast a vote for Henderson for one reason or another. That's bullshit, but if he actually had the balls to say, "I think Henderson was a hot dog and a slacker, and unanimous selections should be perfect" he'd still be wrong, but it would be better.

Ed in Westchester said...

"It's not a "I don't vote for anyone the first time eligible" either, since he voted for the completely undeserving Matt Williams."

And did not vote for McGwire, due to steroids.

Completely forgetting that Williams was named in the Mitchell Report.

But "Matty" (he called him that) was intense.