Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Rickey Can Put This On His Resume, Yes?

*If a nauseatingly copious amount of self pimpage isn’t quite your bag, then we recommend not reading past this sentence.

Everyone still here? Good, we knew that flimsy disclaimer wouldn’t deter you. Ok then, here we go. Many moons ago, Rickey completed a brief questionnaire and sent it to one of Ms. Henderson’s favorite sites, the popular USA Today culture blog, Pop Candy. Rickey did this on a whim, and with little expectation that his submission would actually be selected by the folks over there, because, well, they’re kind of a big deal. But RwR was in its infancy, struggling for a foothold on the steep slopes of the blogosphere, and Rickey was striving for fame & glory at the time, no matter how unrealistic and unattainable they might’ve been. No word yet from the Cat Fancy blog or the Lemur Aficionado blog concerning whether or not Rickey’s submissions to those sites shall be published.

Fast-forward to yesterday. Somehow, for reasons that we’re at a total loss to explain, the fates have conspired to shine brightly upon Rickey and that is what has led us to this watershed moment in the history of RwR. Exposure. (And, contrary to popular expectations, not of the indecent variety!) Because Rickey just can’t get enough of himself and urges you to govern yourselves accordingly, the entire Pop Candy post entirely devoted to Rickey can be found hither for your viewing pleasure. Indeed, Rickey’s vast media empire is rapidly expanding in both girth and notoriety—much like those animated representations of the conquest of the map of Europe by Germany during the Roaring Thirties (minus the troubling genocidal overtones, of course).

First off, let’s take a moment to discuss the picture. Rickey prefers to remain semi anonymous, so he submitted a picture with his back facing the camera. It’s a great little photographic composition we like to call “Harrumph!” or possibly “Skinny White Guy on Vacation.” But any hope of anonymity is suddenly dashed by the fact that the folks at Pop Candy went ahead and printed Rickey’s real name. Fan-fucking-tastic. But on the bright side, any one of Rickey’s ex-girlfriends can now Google Rickey’s real name, be directed to the USA Today post, read it, and be immediately reminded of the fact that they dated an insane jackass for a couple of months. So we’ve got that going for us.

Moving onto the actual items discussed in the article… They’re your run of the mill standard snarky tidbits and factoids from Rickey’s life, but what stands out in that profile is Rickey’s belligerent admission that he enjoys “Armageddon.” Now we‘ve made veiled references to this issue in the past, but this time there’s no escaping it. Rickey digs “Armageddon.” (He even owned the double disc Criterion Edition of it until a traitorous wench absconded with it). Here’s the thing: Rickey enjoys both high art and low art and tries to incorporate that here on this blog by blending the scatological with the sublime. So yes, while “Remains of the Day” may be one of Rickey’s favorite reads, he counteracts that with his affection for more base fare such as “Armageddon.” See how that works?

And oy vey, the responses… Rickey was initially overwhelmed at the sheer volume of jibber jabber generated by his profile. But then the messages in the talkback quickly devolved into an ADD addled discussion of what exactly the “base system” is, ruminations on Aerosmith’s moving opus “Don’t Want To Miss A Thing,” and talk of some random dude’s first gay date. So yes 1,409 comments are nice and whatnot, but we prefer our six stalwart talkbackers over the hordes of USA Today ones due to our readers’ uncanny ability to stay on topic. (Sheepish messages of “aw shucks, Rickey” are to be left in the comments section below).

So there you have it: one small step for Rickey, and one giant leap for his ego. This concludes Phase One of our ongoing five year plan here at RwR, which breaks down thusly:

Phase 1) Get blog mentioned in widely read pop culture website
Phase 2) ________
Phase 3) Profit!

Arguably, there’s room for improvement in our five year plan. Perhaps Phase Two consists of talking about having delusions of being successful & popular and hoping they become a self fulfilling prophecy…

Stumble Upon Toolbar

21 comments:

Smitty said...

Again, allow me to bask in my sycophancy.

And aw...shucks. Unless I'm not one of the "Stalwart Six" but instead the "Inebriated Individual."

Rickey Henderson said...

Rickey is worthy of sycophancy? That's terrific!

damon said...

Rickeys new found fame is nothing short of incredible.
Just don't forget us little people in your acceptance speech.

George said...

one small step for Rickey, and one giant leap for his ego

So if someone who talks about himself in the third person talks about his ego in the third person, is that the sixth person or the ninth person?

Congrats! I am unworthy to touch the hem of your web-garment. (You better be wearing that web-garment, btw. You've had enough exposure for this week.)

AmyV said...

that's actually really cool... and george, i'm pretty sure that makes him the ninth person. but i nearly failed trig, so i'm not sure.

Rickey Henderson said...

You've had enough exposure for this week

You'd think that, wouldn't you? And yet, tomorrow's post contains an anecdote conerning Rickey exposing himself (this time in the literal sense).

John Peterson said...

Congratulations?

You plan your posts? Mine are more like drunk dialing. And I'm always ashamed afterwards.

Rickey Henderson said...

There is a docket yes... Each Monday, Rickey sits down with his inner gremlins and attempts to layout a rough schedule for what will get posted each week. This blogging thing is serious business don't ya know...

Toasty Joe said...

Whoa, a real name! Should I start calling you "Nicky Henderson" now?

theflitgirl said...

Any relation to Nick Cannon of "Drumline" and "Love Don't Cost a Thing" fame? (And a follow-up: any plans to introduce either of those fine films into your pantheon of greats? I think either could stack up favorably against Armageddon).

Rickey Henderson said...

No damnit, it's Canaan: you know the realm of milk & honey? The promised land for the Hebrews? Sigh. Sadly, Rickey actually gets asked this question fairly frequently...

For the record, Nick Cannon was the bomb in "Underclassmen."

Anonymous said...

Ni-nick nick nick, nick nick nick nick Nickelodeon

Alex L said...

Any chance of a book or series of DVDs about your three step financial plan, I like its style...

1. Blog
2. ...
3. Profit

(God I love that episode of southpark.)

Rickey Henderson said...

Well this went exceedingly well. Okey dokey, time for a new post...

Mike said...

Does this mean that Rickie is Moses?

He led the Jew out of Canaan?

(Or something like that?)

Meanwhile, congrats Rickster! Watch your hits jump like a mofo, at least for a few days. Nice stuff.

Mike said...

D'oh!

INTO Canaan. Argggg.

(Note to self ---> When you make a really dumb joke, at least get your lame biblical references straight.)

What a dork.

Statler said...

The idea of Rickey leading anyone "into Canaan" sounds a lot like pederasty. Or, you know, the consequence of a night of heavy drinking in Chelsea.

Rickey Henderson said...

Mike: not only will Rickey lead the chosen peoples back into the land of milk and honey, but he'll be powerfully singing "Those Canaan Days!" from Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat while doing so.

As a footnote: one of the high moments of Rickey's childhood was when Canaan was referenced by Harrison Ford in Raiders of the Lost Arl.

Statler: it aint like that. Rickey leads his peoples out of bondage...

Chris C said...

I'd congratulate you but I'm afraid your ego would finally explode from yet another one hehe. :P

leigh said...

god rickey, it's been ages. i leave for a few days and it takes me forever to catch up.

p.s. my old boyfriend once peed next to keifer sutherland in a bar bathroom in denver.

yagmurunsesi said...

Thanks man good job.
renovationdoctors.com
turizmseyahat.blogspot.com
www.yagmurunsesi.org
yagmurunsesiorg.blogspot.com
turkuntarihi.blogspot.com
websitesiyapamak.blogspot.com
saglik-k.blogspot.com
ders-hane.blogspot.com
webmaster-sitesi.blogspot.com