Thursday, April 10, 2008

Consoling The Inconsolable

Despite last night's Mets victory thanks to a hellacious number of Phillies errors and the mystical powers of Mike Pelfrey's pacifier mouth guard, Rickey has noticed an inordinate amount of squawking reverberating from the Mets fanbase as of late. From whence does this fickle dissatisfaction hail? Rickey's assuming that the recent whining sprouts from the fact that many Mets fans out there might be relatively new to the idea of rooting for this storied baseball franchise. So we'd like to take a moment to address you casual newcomers directly:

Hi! Everyone here? Great, allow Rickey to proceed. So you've decided to become a Mets fan, congratulations! Rooting for the Metropolitans comes with a unique set of challenges and rewards that greatly distinguishes it from rooting for... let's say the Yankees. Twenty six World Series wins have earned their fans the right to expect great things from them each and every season (no matter how insufferably prickish they might be about it). Your Mets? Not so much. So while you may be deeply unsatisfied that Johan Santana has yet to snatch an airplane out of the sky and hurl it at Turner Field, just take a deep breath and relax for a second, ok? Because when you put things in perspective, Mets fans have no right or historical basis to expect a bombastic 7-0 start to the season.

You see, newbies, following the Mets is essentially the sporting equivalent of reading a "Choose Your Own Adventure!" novel. Turn to page 67 to read about Jose Reyes being named NL player of the month. Turn to page 110 to read about Reyes doing his very best impression of Rey Ordonez at the plate. The Mets, while often thrilling, will continue to find new and unique ways to screw the pooch (no matter how much of a big market team they have become in recent years) and it’s up to you to turn the page and find the silver lining in each day’s newspaper headlines. This will undoubtedly prove difficult as Rickey can tell you firsthand that the Mets are not a team that is known for making things easy. But maybe, just maybe, you’ll be lucky to be watching a sunny day game at Shea when John Maine pitches a brilliant no hitter, David Wright hits for the cycle, or Willie Randolph, against all odds, masters the complexities of the double switch.

Baseball seasons are long for a very good reason: this sport is something you are meant to enjoy gradually, much like a fine scotch or a stimulating evening of crocheting novelty teapot cozies. Try to judge the Mets on a day by day basis and you might come up against severe disappointment. Besides, have you ever actually tried to sit down and intently watch an entire 4 hour baseball game on tv? It’s not easy, is it? This is why Rickey usually has the game on the television while he’s doing other things—it makes for terrific background accompaniment. This attitude is what enables Rickey to weather the inevitable peaks and troughs of each season. Not happy with this less intense concept of being a Mets fan that Rickey’s preaching? That's fine: you’ll find all emergency exits properly marked and easily accessible. The Red Sox and Yanks bandwagons haven’t quite achieved critical mass just yet…

And with that, Rickey’s out. Tomorrow, Rickey’s taking the old man to a ball game at Shea, where the two of them will do their damndest to remember everything Rickey just typed as they behold Nelson Figueroa emerging from baseball exile to pitch his first MLB game in four years.

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Smitty said...

Yeah, well my Tigers are hurtling towards mediocrity already, and we're 1 week into the season.

Rickey Henderson said...

yeah, a 1-7 start isn't a good sign for you folks (or Jim Leyland's lungs for that matter). The Tigers need a good, long brawl to wake themselves up.

George said...

Rickey, as a Mets fan since my thankfully Bon Jovi-free youth in New Jersey when the '73 Mets broke my ten-year-old heart, I reserve the right to complain abut them as much as possible. Heck, that's one of the major reasons I am a Mets fan. The kvetching.

yagmurunsesi said...

Thanks man good job.