A disclaimer: Rickey is not a huge Star Trek guy. Call Rickey nuts, but repeatedly hearing the phrase “shields down to 59 percent!” just doesn’t float his boat. In fact, most of Rickey’s Trek knowledge originates from repeatedly watching “Galaxy Quest,” a film which is virtually guaranteed to be playing on your cable lineup no matter what time it is or where you live. If you were to put a phaser to his head, Rickey couldn’t tell you the difference between a tribble and a Talarian. Being a sage blogger, Rickey generally avoids talking about Star Trek here at RwR for fear of saying something canonically inaccurate and riling up the cultish sect of hardcore Trekkies that we suspect are lurking in the comments section. Perhaps it’s because Rickey can’t get overly excited about tired old properties. Perhaps it’s because the Trek universe is strangely devoid of Jews (in addition to cancer, apparently Jewishness will be cured by the 23rd century). Whatever the reason for Rickey’s mild Trek distain may be, we’d also be willing to wager that the mainstream public just doesn’t get Star Trek (or want to, for that matter).
But from what Rickey can remember from a handful of The Next Generation episodes, Star Trek is at its best when it functions as a compelling space naval drama rather than a mindless shoot ‘em up (see Battlestar Galactica for an example of how to do things). And that’s why the whiz bang trailer released online today doesn’t exactly do it for Rickey. Horatio Hornblower in space this most definitely is not. Take a gander.
In Rickey’s humble geek opinion, they’re swinging the pendulum the other way and are reaching too far for mass appeal. If Rickey wants to see a Paramount movie featuring overwrought fight scenes and goofy looking aliens, he’ll check out the latest Indiana Jones travesty, thank you very much. And like we said, Rickey’s not even a Star Trek enthusiast—we’re guessing that most of the die hard fans will interpret this trailer as an open declaration of war. Rickey’s advice to the studios: you want to make a Star Trek movie? Then make an honest to goodness Star Trek movie (but don’t blame Rickey when it grosses $12 million domestic on its opening weekend). This rehash exemplifies horrible concepts, violates the artistic integrity of the property, and represents a cheap attempt to cash in on a beloved geek property... and Rickey will certainly not be in line at the first showing at the City Center 15 Cinemas in White Plains, New York. No sir. Ahem. (Ms. Henderson is a Karl Urban fan, so Rickey will most likely be required to see this. That’s Rickey’s excuse and he’s sticking to it).