"The sobriquet, the Nutmeg State, is applied to Connecticut because its early inhabitants had the reputation of being so ingenious and shrewd that they were able to make and sell wooden nutmegs. Some claim that wooden nutmegs were actually sold, but they do not give either the time or the place.”
And we bring this piece of trivia up for absolutely no other reason other than to highlight the curious stupidity of a loathsome state that repeatedly elects Joe Lieberman to serve as it’s Senator. Well done you nutjob nutmeggers. As a state, you collectively rose up, said to yourselves, “hey, some of my best friends are Jewish!” and proceeded to send Joe Lieberman to Washington …four goddamned times. Apparently Joe Lieberman has some sort of bet going to determine how stupid you voters in Connecticut really are and true to your state’s history, you have sold the nation a useless wooden nutmeg. So now that the winds of charge are blowing a bit more briskly, let’s chat about a few things that might be giving a few of you folks a touch of buyer's remorse, shall we?
First up is his voting record. According to Senator Harry Reid, "Sen. Lieberman votes with Democrats 85 or 90 percent of the time, except when it comes to Iraq and some national security issues." Indeed, just a few minor quibbles here and there. Stuff like war and peace. No biggie. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, eh Harry? Nothing wrong with a guy who over the past four years has emerged as a heroic figure among Republicans for having risked his Senate seat to support President George W. Bush's war policy, no sir. We’re not sure about you Mr. Reid, but Rickey has grown just a tad weary of listening to recent Bush speeches touting that he was acting on “the good advice of Senator Joe Lieberman.”
Then there’s the Israel issue. Sorry Joe, but you can’t hop in bed with the AICPAC lobby and not expect the right wing media to completely fall in love with you. They’ll go apeshit for anyone that provides them with the opportunity to wave a flag and lob a few patriot missiles somewhere foreign sounding (if the Rainbow Coalition or LGBTA wanted to invade Moldavia, you’d better believe Sean Hannity would happily take ‘em under his wing). And so thanks in no small part to the efforts of Joe Lieberman, phrases like “a friend of Israel” or “Israel’s right to defend herself” have become wink wink nudge nudge statements to pander to the neocon constituency, a development for which Rickey cares not.
And furthermore, Rickey, despite being a wayward Jew, cares not for the generalization that the beliefs of all Jews are encapsulated by Joe Lieberman. Closed door meetings anointing Joe Lieberman to be our golem avenger were not held, primarily because there are quite a wide ranging variety of Jews roaming the planet. There are socially progressive Jews, economically progressive Jews, socially conservative Jews, economically conservative Jews, Peacenik Jews, Security Hawk Jews, "Whomever is Best for the Jews" Jews, Stubborn Jews, Flexible Jews, Bossy Jews, Whiny Jews, and many combinations thereof, the degrees of which may vary on any given day. As the old adage goes: "put three Jews in a room, and you'll get eight different opinions." And Rickey would wager that if here were to take a poll, he’s find that Joe Lieberman is about as popular with Jews as Mel Gibson or smoked bacon. And just because we didn’t use the word frequently enough in this paragraph: “Jews!”
See, most people of the Jewish faith read the Torah and are inspired to do good and charitable things. A smaller group of people read the Torah and are inspired to invade countries, threaten to invade other countries, and all around just love going to war and blowing shit up. Joe Lieberman is one of the latter. And yet, Joe Lieberman also thinks it’s kosher to pal around with a guy like John Hagee, a level minded fellow who in the wake of Katrina stated “I believe that New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God, and they were recipients of the judgment of God for that.” Joe Lieberman supports the Alberto Gonzales policy on the shirking of the Geneva Convention provisions. Joe Lieberman wants to prevent people from being able to play violent videogames. (Yes, some of you might agree with him on that last point, but goddamnit if squeezing the right trigger on his Xbox 360 controller and causing the heads of Locust Horde members to vaporize into riotous explosions of brain matter in Gears of War 2 is wrong, then sweet fancy moses, Rickey doesn’t want to be right. If an NRA existed for gamers, Rickey would totally be a card carrying member).
Ultimately, Joe Lieberman is a man who when asked if he received ''talking points'' from the McCain campaign or the Republican National Committee, replied: ''I usually don't.'' What, like not on the Sabbath? Do you not answer Karl Rove’s phone calls on Shomer Shavis, Senator? Well we certainly hope you had a blast with Mr. McCain and Lindsey Graham on the 2008 campaign trail, because the road trip is now officially over.
Many bloggers have chimed in recently on just what to do about Joe Lieberman. Mr. Furious channeled his inner Michael Corleone and proposed that Lieberman be taken on a fishing trip, an idea that dovetails nicely with the now infamous “kiss of death” that Bush gave Lieberman after the 2005 State of the Union Address. (All Neo-Hawks are closet queens, we tells ya). And fellow blogger Statler got appropriately pissed and wrote up this gem on Whiny Joe. But what does Rickey suggest be done? Stripping him of his chairmanship of the Senate Homeland Security Committee is a decent start. But how about banishing him to wander the desert for 40 years? We hear that the desert life in the Southwest, possibly Arizona, is a character building environment. The idea just might gain a little, shall we say …Joementum.
[Posted at Humor Blogs]