Thursday, November 20, 2008

Your Weekly Linkage

…in which Rickey culls the internet for only the choicest links with the intention that maybe, just maybe, the handful of misanthropes that come by this site daily might actually click on ‘em and use the vast knowledge contained herein to somehow better themselves. (No luck so far). Bon appetite, fuckwits.

It is at moments like this that we get a little emotional about the inspirational heights of human innovation: a beer dispenser that pours ten pints in ten seconds. Shit yes.

Rickey would be a whole lot more willing to heed Governor Patterson’s dire economic lamentations if his office hadn’t splurged on a $21,000 antique Turkish rug. Does the rug really tie the room together, Governor? And more importantly, how the fuck would you know?!

From the curious state of Florida, a deputy chose to detain a man’s Xbox in lieu of giving him a speeding ticket. Apparently, those Floridian law enforcement folks just love the GTA IV...

Never in a million years did Rickey think that a craze would come along that would make him nostalgically yearn for the good old Harry Potter days. And yet it has: Twilight, the latest tween sensation. Is debating the merits of mass genocide against an entire age group a bad thing?

MLB has set a December 1 deadline for any offers to buy the Chicago Cubs. Hm, Rickey has long dreamed of owning a professional baseball team. Rickey wonders, will a bid of $39.95 seal the deal?

Chuck Norris, for one, is overwhelmingly glad that Californians voted to ban gay marriage. Stay classy, Chuck. (See, this is why Rickey is more of a Jack Bauer fan).

Pirates are back! And they’ve become infinitely more badass! At least something good has come from the destabilization over in Somalia, right? Please please please let CNN broadcast some sort of pirates vs ninjas showdown in the immediate future…

Is anyone else just a little bit weary of the spineless Democratic party? First they give Joe Lieberman a pass and now they’re considering Hillary Clinton for the Secretary of State? And don't believe a bit of the hype about this vetting process--the only reason Clinton hasn't been officially announced is because she's playing her cutesy "will she?/won't she?" game with the media. Sigh...

It’s been a 17 year wait, but the long awaited Guns & Roses album Chinese Democracy hits store shelves in two days. The last time we saw a new GnR offering? Yeah, gas cost less than $1 per gallon. Chances are it won’t cure cancer, but early reviews are sounding pretty good.

Oh look, a spider taken up to the international space station has woven a wacky looking web! Of course this will all seem much less amusing when our intergalactic arachnid overlords intercept the web’s message and come a knockin’.

[posted at Humor Blogs]

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8 comments:

Statler said...

The fact that it's referred to as a "space spider" is amusing. The fact that it went "space crazy" is less so.

Rickey Henderson said...

Indeed, space madness is no laughing matter. Space incontinence, however, is.

David said...

I suspect that the FL deputy figured the Xbox was stolen and the guy wouldn't be able to come in to retrieve it.

Thus no ticket and no report at the station. One crooked cop got exposed.

Adam said...

F-ing Patterson. Homeboy ain't even blind, I'm gonna bet.

Smitty said...

Gotta say, I am pretty impressed with the beer-pourer. It does beg the question, though, as to whether or not beer will have to be consumed faster to keep up with the faster pour.

Also, while I am grumpy about Lieberman, I am not so grumpy about Hillary for SoS. Gets her the fuck out of DC and out of Obama's hair.

Alex L said...

'Is debating the merits of mass genocide against an entire age group a bad thing?'

No I think thats reasonable.

Esther said...

I be lovin' me some brain of Rickey

Doug at Taunt Vortex said...

Oh crap! The intergalactic arachnid overlords are going to be none too pleased about my eight grade science fair project.