Thursday, June 21, 2007

Serenity Now!!!!

Rickey speaks for the entire Mets fan base when he says the following: fuck-fuck-fuckety-fuck! Seriously now folks, you can’t give us one satisfying win? Or heavens forbid, even back to back wins? When the hell did we turn into the Kansas City Royals? You’ve lost the last six series you’ve played, honestly now, what the everloving fuck? And are your weaknesses limited to one specific area? Oh no, for the sake of uniformity, you guys seem to insist on spreading it over all areas: bad hitting, poor bullpen performance, lousy fielding, and weak starting pitching. Strong work fellas. For the record, Rickey’s getting a wee bit tired of curling up into the fetal position and openly sobbing after watching the Mets play.

Rickey damn sure won’t be taking any more Spanish lessons from Professor Reyes until he breaks out of his mini slump. It’s fantastic that Mets fans now preemptively boo Scott Schoeneweis whenever he trots out of the bullpen (this is a guy we have a two year contract with by the way). Shawn Greene is doing what that can only be described as lollygagging out in right field and his hitting has dropped of substantially since his return from the DL. And we don’t even have the stomach to discuss Beltran, Delgado, Sosa, or Glavine. Indeed, the Mets seem hell-bent on screwing the pooch from every possible angle.

With a 4-14 record this month, that means the Mets currently have a .222 winning percentage in June. For those who don’t follow baseball, that’s an exceedingly bad statistic. The last time the Mets went a month with a percentage like that was August of 2002. Remember who was playing back then? That all-star lineup consisted of: Roberto Alomar, Mo Vaughn, Jeromy Burnitz, Tony Tarasco, John Valentin, Roger Cedeno, and Joe McEwing. Ouch. Obviously we’ve improved a lot since then, so why is the 2007 team insisting on mailing it in every night at Shea?

And with the team well on track to finish the season with a .550 season average, where is Willie Randolph in all this? Sleepwalking? As we’ve said before, the man clearly needs to step up and yell a little. Stop giving press conferences while looking like you just got hit in the back of the head with a piece of lumber and start laying down the law.

So what, the outcome of the 2007 NL Division is going to be determined by which team is slightly less mediocre: the Mets or the Braves? In case you haven’t been watching, right now, we suck a whole lot more than Atlanta does. Indeed, we’re the suckiest bunch of suckers to ever suck. Man do we suck. Things are indeed bad when the return of Moises Alou and Pedro Martinez now seems essential to any shot the Mets have at making a strong run at the postseason. Right now, this is a completely unwatchable team. For the first time ever, Rickey found himself not minding all that much last night when Ms. Henderson flipped from the Mets game to “So You Think You Can Dance.” That’s an extremely bad sign…

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Toasty Joe said...

I'm on the verge of taking a full week hiatus from watching this crap-fest.

Egan Foote said...

Oh no! What will the Mets do without you, Toasty Joe?

Egan, out.