Monday, June 18, 2007

*Because we’re big fans of making lists (particularly when it comes to organizing Rickey’s chaotic life) we proudly present our newest column,
Things Rickey Learned Over the Weekend:


The Butterfly House at the Bronx Zoo adheres to the same rules and regulations as most American strip clubs: the butterflies can touch you, but you can’t touch the butterflies.

“John from Cincinnati” is a complete and utter mess. An hour of television has never dragged on quite like one Rickey spent last night watching this disjointed show about surfers and someone who appears to be Jesus Christ. Or an alien. However, Rickey loves what David Milch did with “Deadwood,” so based primarily on stubborn loyalty, he’s sticking with this show for now.

Tongue sandwiches totally rock. They’re like the Mick Jagger of the sandwich world—classic, daring, and still uncompromising after all these years. Suck it haters.

Judging by these photos, Batman will be playing the Joker in a lacrosse tournament in summer, 2008. Fan-freaking-tastic. Rickey's officially concerned.

It’s becoming very hot these days. We’re quickly approaching what can only be described as Gold Bond weather (the extra medicated variety).

FF2 is a study in how to make an exceedingly poor film. Go in with low expectations, or better yet, save your money for Transformers.

Willie Randolph is officially living in fantasy land. A closed door conversation within the Mets organization needs to occur, and pronto. Chairs need to be thrown. Heated language needs to be employed. Anyone named Carlos needs to be screamed at. Enough of this “steady-handed cool captain at the helm” bullshit. This team needs a yelling at—top to bottom—in order to snap out of their funk.

Bacardi 151 and mango nectar on the rocks causes Rickey to develop a powerful hunger for Mexican food. And provide in depth advice on proper canoeing procedures—whether the recipient wants it or not.

Today is apparently Rickey and Ms. Henderson’s two year anniversary. Yes, Rickey was oblivious enough to need to be reminded of this. Well-wishes, “atta-boys”, and “sweet fancy Moses, you wrangled a lady friend?”s should be left in the comments section below.

A Samoyed with all it’s fur shaved off (except for the hair on his tail and head) just looks absurd. Completely ridiculous. Dogs don’t suffer from low self esteem when something like this is done to them, right?



Stumble Upon Toolbar

13 comments:

Egan Foote said...

Rickey - Which way does your "whorl" go?

http://nymag.com/news/features/33520/


Egan, out.

Toasty Joe said...

Rickey - I can tell you that when my dog gets an overly-short haircut, she tends to sulk a little bit.

Smitty said...

Gold Bond weather

Ah yes. I regularly employ the green-bottled extra-medicated Gold Bond to help avoid summertime funk. There's something very satisfying about the application of Gold Bond to one's dangly bits.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! I will hoist a beer in your honor this evening.

Egan Foote said...

Toasty Joe - What does your dog have against short hair? Does your dog not support our troops?

Someone call Homeland Security.

Egan, out.

Rickey Henderson said...

Rickey suggests that unless you want your posts to start disappearing Egan, you keep them pertinent.

AmyV said...

OK, it should be illegal to do that to a dog.

And Rickey, I wholeheartedly agree with you in being stubbornly loyal to Milch. I haven't seen last night's ep yet, but I actually really liked the first one.

Oh, and my condolences to the lovely Ms. Henderson. ;-)

And I'm so utterly ashamed that I've read just a very few of those books on the reading list. I've heard of all of them, though. Does that count?

Rickey Henderson said...

Wait, we have a reading list? Why wasn't I notified of this? It seems kind of odd considering the fact that 90% of this site's hits are from illiterate vikings.

JFC has the potential to be a great show (and from what I've heard it picks up a lot over the course of the next few eps). It's just frustratingly slow right now. The dialogue is good stuff though.

Milch is awesome--I'll watch whatever he makes. Did you know he teaches english lit at Yale?

Egan Foote said...

For one as outspoken as Rickey Henderson, I'm a bit shocked at the threats of censorship. I guess Egan's just a bit too real for you.

Egan me this: why is it that "amyv" can go off topic (reading lists) but Egan is threatened with disappearing posts for replying to another commenter?

Egan, out.

P.S. So this post doesn't get deleted, I'll stay pertinent: John From Cincinnati stinks.

AmyV said...

Reading list — if you click on the photo of the notbook paper at the top of the post, it's a reading list! I did not go off-topic, though Rickey would never threaten me with censorship unless I made disparaging comments about the Mets, which I promise not to do.

As for JFC, it actually makes sense that he teaches English lit. Deadwood was simply Shakespearean in its dialogue (and, frankly, in content, to any true student of the bard). The dialogue in JFC is similarly literary. Even though absolutely no one outside the ivory towers of academe speaks that way, it's just awesome to listen to. Especially when it's a bunch of surfers.

Rickey Henderson said...

ah ok, yeah I just googled "list" images and that happened to pop up. But hey, if you want to read Conrad, by all means, go for it.

They totally need to properly wrap up Deadwood. I abolutely love the mix of the king's english and frontier speak. Frontier cursing makes me giggle.

Alex said...

Hey, ya'll should check out Paul McCartney's new album, Memory Almost Full. Yes it's all over the TV via itunes and Steve (I love to slob the nob) Jobs. But the album is probably the last thing Sir Paul will do.

AmyV said...

Actually, the Conrad book is one of the few on the list I _have_ read (ok, in high school English class, but still).

Yeah, frontier cursing has that effect on me, too. I don't know why.

Blogger said...

I have just installed iStripper, and now I enjoy having the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.