Tuesday, March 13, 2007

This is where Rickey posts recommendations of noteworthy consumables, practices, and pastimes that have been deemed invaluable for the reader’s betterment. All products and advice listed herein have been Rickey tested and approved. Again, this is in no way a complete rip off of McSweeney’s (fa-la-la-la-la, lawyers, Rickey can’t hear you). Enjoy this week's installment of:

RICKEY RECOMMENDS:

Constructing your own digital picture frame. Got an old laptop lying around? This project is shockingly easy and saves you $400 on a store bought digital picture frame. Just think of how nice your bestiality photo collection will look when proudly displayed on a digital picture frame in your living room.

Trader Joe’s. Decent food, low prices, and the unadulterated thrill of having your food items scanned at the checkout counter by a burned out aging hipster. Need we say more? Those dunking cookie things are like crack-cocaine for Rickey.

Owning a Toyger. Half housecat, half tiger, it’s the latest trend in designer pets. For only $4,000, you too can scare away houseguests when your hungry pet Toyger’s instincts take over and it starts circling them menacingly.

Worms! On occasion, having worms can be a good thing, especially when it’s the XBL Arcade game consisting of teams of cute battle hardened worms duking it out armed with banana bombs, bazookas, and explosive sheep. You will never laugh so hard while playing a game. Sadly, the Holy Hand Grenade is not included in this version.

Rescue Me. Want to see Dennis Leary sink deeper and deeper into a pit of despair and self-loathing? Sure you do—he’s funny when he’s angry. Part comedy and part tragedy, this riveting show is pretty much the only reason to flip on FX.

Owning a Brita. Chances are you don’t know what cryptosporidium and giardia are, and you don’t want to. Buy one.

Neon Bible by Arcade Fire. Every now and then, a band’s second album shatters the “sophomore slump” stereotype. This is one such occasion. Their lyrics are reminiscent of Springsteen and their sound is a mix of guitars, pianos, organs, and xylophones. Avant-garde doesn’t even begin to describe these guys. They’ve single handedly created a new musical genre: chamber-pop. Listen to this, pronto.

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3 comments:

Mike said...

I'm opting for the Toyger. I want mine NOW.

Rickey Henderson said...

Damn right you do. Doesn't Julio Franco own an actual Tiger?

Mike said...

He owns the Fountain of Youth, so why not a Tiger?