Monday, July 2, 2007

Things Rickey Learned Over the Weekend

Dead baby birds are exceedingly difficult to clean off of your shoes. Especially if you’ve been unwittingly standing on one for 10 minutes. Now, before you call PETA, the bird was long dead before Rickey came along.

The new White Stripes Album continues to be much better than we mortals deserve.

The Yankees are completely done. Yanks fans should recalibrate their expectations and act pleasantly surprised if their team snags the wildcard.

Weather.com is for n00bs. Nws.noaa.gov is where the real shit is at.

If you decide to utter the phrase “I enjoy your ass” at a random female walking down the street, be fully prepared for aforementioned female to take offense and seriously lose her shit. To sum up the encounter, Rickey’s buddy is quite lucky he escaped a call from Dr. Fisticuffs.

The iPhone lacks a replaceable battery. After 400 charges, the battery looses capacity and you’ll need to send the entire phone to Apple for service (which they charge for). In other news, Walt Mossberg is a pompous schmuck and complete shill.

The topic of geopolitical war scenarios makes for completely unsuitable drinking conversation. But then again, so does Tort Reform. All of Rickey’s friends are lawyers and it irks him occasionally.

“John From Cincinnati” really isn’t as bad as we’d initially feared. It’s kind of good in fact. HBO’s second stab at a biblical allegory (for those keeping score at home, the first would be “Carnival”) has developed recently into a show that’s definitely worth your time. Did we mention that it features Al Bundy speaking in Milch-isms and taking orders from a parrot?

Everyone and their mother is on vacation right now. That is why posting in the comments section has slowed to a trickle recently, yes? Yes?

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8 comments:

Smitty said...

The topic of geopolitical war scenarios makes for completely unsuitable drinking conversation. But then again, so does Tort Reform.

I talk about beer and laugh the hardest at body-function-related humor. Come talk to smitty. He's not a lawyer.

Your site has made me start referring to myself in the 3rd person. Mrs. Smitty is irked.

Everyone and their mother is on vacation right now. That is why posting in the comments section has slowed to a trickle recently, yes? Yes?

Well, your last article on the Mets is just one more Mets fan either bitching about or lauding the Mets. Being a Tiger fan, the good Michiganian that I am, then it is better that I don't say anything at all, as I have nothing nice to say.

Rickey Henderson said...

Heh, good to hear that the third person bug is spreading. Adam's posts do come with special first person action however.

And yes, Rickey does like to rant about the Mets an awful lot, which undoubtedly alienates you non-New York baseball fans. Our bad. Perhaps we'll look into starting up a blog authored by Jim Leyland's nicotine patch.

Smitty said...

Perhaps we'll look into starting up a blog authored by Jim Leyland's nicotine patch.

I doubt we could recreate the anger and hostility very well.

Egan Foote said...

I doubt we could recreate the anger and hostility very well.

Smitty - I could. I'm pretty talented.

Egan, out.

http://eganfoote.wordpress.com

sideshow bob said...

Go NOAA or go home.

Toasty Joe said...

Rickey, I read a story about that dead bird. Shame on you.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime_file/2007/07/03/2007-07-03_sicko_says_peacock_deserved_to_die.html

Rickey Henderson said...

Heh, well, Rickey's crazy, but not that particular variety of crazy. It takes a special kind of sick freak to do that to an animal. Who the hell attacks a peacock?

Dan in Texas said...

"I enjoy your Ass" that has to be the new Riding with Rickey slogan.

Great post