Thursday, January 25, 2007

A Quick Rickey Primer...

Some of you may be wondering why I felt a pseudonym was necessary when creating this blog. In fact, some of you even asked, “are you sure you gave the correct link to your site, and who is this Rickey Henderson guy?” So why all the secrecy? Well, Mr. Smarty Pants, calm down for a second and let me address that issue.

You see, there's this person who lives in my apartment building who is crazy. No joke. Not just short-pants-in-winter kinda crazy but batshit kinda crazy. Wears-a-velvet-cape-to-get-the-mall kinda crazy. Eats-imaginary-ice-cream-cone-while-talking-to-the-ghost-of-her-long-dead-Aunt-Hettie kinda crazy. Definitely-shouldn't-be-allowed-to-drive-a-schoolbus kinda crazy. (Courtesy of Jack Handey) What's worse, she’s pretty much stalking me at this point. Much like Jack Nicholson in “As Good as it Gets,” I'll usually lock my door five times before shutting off the lights every night. I’m that scared. Needless too say, the whole situation has Ms. Henderson very concerned. So excuse me if I don’t put my full name and picture out there on a blog site for anyone to Google. The end result of that would most likely be this nutcase wearing my severed head as a hat while driving across state lines.

Anyway, that’s one reason for me going with the Rickey moniker. Another reason is that it’s extremely yawn-inducing when people use their blogs as diaries. Why? Because people in general, are fairly boring. Unless you’re an astronaut, archaeologist, vampire hunter, or all three of the above, chances are your life is fairly uninspiring. So with that in mind, I'll do my best to spare you the autobiographical narration that plagues most blogs out there. My name is Nick (most of you folks already know that) and we’ll leave it at that.

But why use this Rickey Henderson fellow as an identity? Ah, clearly you’re not a golfer… For the uninitiated, Rickey Henderson is a famous ex-Met who, last time I heard, was still playing baseball in the minor leagues. He’s ancient. And a fantastically cocky bastard to boot. He likes to talk about himself in the third person a lot. On a road trip once Rickey was offered a seat on the team bus, by another Mets player, saying that he had tenure. So Rickey says:

"Ten years? What are you talking about? Rickey got 16, 17 years."

He also talks to his bats when he’s up at the plate. And he liked to dance naked in front of the mirror in the Mets locker room. He once called up a minor league team to ask about a contract and started the conversation with “this is Rickey, calling on behalf of Rickey.” He’s officially awesome. I can’t think of a better available domain name or pseudonym out there.

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6 comments:

Sooze said...

Ricky is rad! Nice blog, I'll be visiting again often!

Adam said...

I love that "ten years" story, that's the first story I tell people when they don't know about the man's greatness.

By the way, great blog. I'm linking you off The Jack Sack!

Rickey Henderson said...

Glad to see ya over here Adam. I'll add a link to your site once I figure out how to do it...

Mike said...

Rickey needs to write Rickey's blog completely in the third person.

There's just no other way, Rickey. No. Other. Way.

Rickey Henderson said...

Rickey just did exactly that on a recent post. But Rickey's a little concerned that format might grate on the reader a little too much...

Mike said...

Rickey Henderson is a famous ex-Met

Yeah, and Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn is a famous Vermonter.