Rickey enjoys decorating his new home. So much so that Rickey went so far as to find a local area map of his neighborhood, order a print of it online, and commission it framed to be framed and mounted on on a wall. A stylish frame was selected, the proper matte color was picked, and Rickey was content in the knowledge that this would make a great addition to the house. Rickey is nothing if not stylistically inclined. Behold:
And under normal circumstances, the story would have ended right here. But not today. Take a good look at the above picture.
But look carefully at the image. No, closer. Closer.
See it? Woo boy. No, your eyes do not deceive you. It looks exactly what you think it looks like. Man-cock. After all that effort picking out the map, framing it, and mounting it, Rickey suddenly realized that he had hung a gigantic 48" x 34" print of a male dong on his living room wall.
How did this chain of events come to pass? We're not entirely sure. But over $800 dollars later, that's what Rickey is stuck with: a textbook anatomy picture of the male reproductive organ front and center in Rickey's new house. Oh, joy. This will make for interesting conversation at the housewarming party.
You know what Rickey blames this on the breakdown of? SOCIETY.
First off, there was the cartographer circa 1819, sitting pretty in his aerial balloon, who went totally off the reservation and decided to sketch a map in the exact likeness of his own privates. Then, there was Rickey's realtor, who completely neglected to inform the Hendersons that they were purchasing a house in an area that geographically personifies a dude's penis. And finally, there was the guy at the framing store, who in good conscience, should have said something along the lines of "whoa there buddy, you're about to drop a shitload of money framing a massive print of a man's genitals." But he didn't.
And so every one of these safety nets failed Rickey, and now here he is, stuck with an enormous picture of a dude's dong on his wall. Well, fuck. At least Rickey didn't splurge on the UV resistant museum glass option for $400 more. Still, Rickey is stuck with a piece of wall art that looks like it came fresh from the Phallic Picture Emporium.
Where exactly is Rickey's house located on the map? Best as Rickey can figure, it's swimming around somewhere in the descending testicle. For comedic purposes alone, Rickey still hung the damn thing up on the wall.
Rickey is yours to mock in the comments section below.