Monday, April 20, 2009

PRESIDENT OBAMA DEBATES ACCEPTING FACEBOOK FRIEND REQUEST FROM VENEZUELAN LEADER

President Obama returned to America from a two-day summit with various leaders of the Western Hemisphere this Monday. On his arrival in the Oval Office, the following email awaited him: "President Hugo Chavez has sent you a Facebook friend request. Add to Friends?"

Obama openly admits to being cautious about the request. "I just sat there and looked at it. I thought to myself, is this the kind of person I want reading my status updates? He's not going to make me take one of those quizzes about which Smurf I am, is he?"

This is not the first time that an issue on Facebook has given the President pause. Obama went on to state that William Ayers still appears on his "People You May Know" tab and he has yet to decide whether or not to add him as a friend. Obama left open the possibility of adding Ayers under a special designation, such as "It's Complicated."

Obama made it clear that he takes such decisions very seriously, and has convened his cabinet for several closed door meetings to debate the idea of him joining the Facebook group "I Don't Like the Letter H." He is currently listed as "maybe attending" for future group meetings.

Yet despite longstanding disagreements between Venezuela and the United States, President Obama has considered the possibility of using Facebook to move American diplomacy forward in more innovative ways.

For example, Facebook has allowed the President to stay abreast of recent developments in North Korea. In recent weeks he has received a notification stating "Kim Jong-il just poked you with an intercontinental ballistic missile. Poke back?"

The social networking that Facebook allows also has helped Obama to strengthen his domestic policies. He explained that "just last week I gladly responded to a (lil) Green Patch Request from EPA Chief Lisa Jackson. I was told that by contributing a batch of virtual petunias, together we could help fight Global Warming and I eagerly await her status report on how that's coming along."

Obama has attempted to convince the Democratic leadership to join the Facebook network, but has met fierce resistance from Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, both adamant Friendster users who refuse to make the jump. Further confusion has occurred due to Senator John Kerry's practice of changing his profile picture every 10 minutes.

Nonetheless, the President perseveres. Obama explained that "fostering more constructive relationships with countries such as Venezuela is a top priority for my administration, and frankly, if that means reading a Facebook status update from Hugo Chavez stating that he's eating cheese in the bathtub, well, then so be it" he said.

Not everyone is pleased with the idea of President Obama and Chavez fostering a Facebook friendship. GOP minority leader John Boehner went on record say that such a decision would "undermine our moral authority and make the United States less safe."

Boehmer continued to say that "this is a huge tactical and strategic mistake" and that he would have no option other than to "unfriend" President Obama if he was to accept the Venezuelan President's friend request.

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16 comments:

Smitty said...

Good shit Rickey. Everything that is annoying about the FB all in one hilarious prose. Well done, sir.

Adam said...

This reads like an SNL skit. Good work!

Rickey Henderson said...

This reads like an SNL skit.Uh, does that mean it's funny? Rickey's unsure...

Adam said...

Dude, a GOOD SNL skit! Sorry, I should have been more specific- I stopped watching SNL when it was still good.

And by the way- your updated artwork for this post is fucking solid.

Diesel said...

Is there a limit to the number of FB gifts that a head of state can receive?

Mike said...

This was a good one for sure.

Hobbes said...

Great post.

The Camera Fanatic said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Smitty said...

Yay! Spam!

Jeff said...

Maybe if he were to "friend" leaders of less fortunate 3rd world countries, he could throw some sheep at them. Could help with their starvation problems.

Toasty Joe said...

Has Rickey joined the writing staff of the Onion?

Cynthia said...

Ricky, Janet Napolitano may be sending you a "friend" request soon.

Rickey Henderson said...

Rickey hears that she's a real looker!

Bob said...

Does Obama prefer the new version of Facebook, or the old?

Lots for sale in Costa Rica said...

I think that Obama is one of the best presidents that USA was had.

Viagra Online said...

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