Monday, February 23, 2009

But Does He Get Unlimited Texting?

Not content with discussing our nation's steady regression into a predominantly bartering society, Rickey has opted to delve into something far more pressing: President Barack Obama's BlackBerry useage. If the media deems it newsworthy that the leader of the Free World has opted to use a device that the majority of corporations have already adopted four years ago, then we figure we can take the hilarity to new and exciting levels....

POTUS: Yo, Hilzoy! What's shakin?

EVERGREEN: (it's her codename, we looked it up) I'M IN UR ASIA, STEALIN UR THUNDA!

POTUS: LMFAO! Ahhhhh, good stuff. So ur wrapping things up over there? Makin us look good?

EVERGREEN: Yeah, I think I can get China to spot us a few xtra tril. 2.5 FTW! Didn't u read mah twitter?

POTUS: Meh, I don't have time for that. Keep the twittering to a few words or a sentence at most--it's all I have time for in between breakfast and teh gym.

EVERGREEN: R people back home still flipping out about me not ragging on China for their human rights problems?

POTUS: Nah, it's all good, I explained it to 'em in mah weekly JibJab address to teh nation.


POTUS: Everything OK?

EVERGREEN: Yeah, stupid Bill keeps tagging me in that "25 Random Things" note on Facebook. Shouldn't he know all this stuff by now? FAIL spouse knows only failure. ...BTW, how r things going stateside?

POTUS: Pretty great--we should have Citibank and Bank of America nationalized by teh end of teh week. These n00bs in Congress can't stop me. They can only hope to contain me.

EVERGREEN: O RLY? You sure that turning everybody's local banks into DMV offices is a good idea?

POTUS: Nationalized Banks > Zombie Banks, IMHO.

EVERGREEN: And if that doesn't work?

POTUS: I'll edit all the banks' wikipedia pages to make them appear profitable. Instant pwnage.

EVERGREEN: ROTFL, we must not allow our irrational exuberance to govern our actions! \Greenspann'd


EVERGREEN: All your vote are belong to us!


EVERGREEN: So has the the GOP been gettin u down?

POTUS: Kinda, but I've been distracting them by signing them up for emails offering che@p v1agr@.



EVERGREEN: HRWM2RTIOBTSPVMS = Harry Reid Wants Me 2 Research The Idea of Bringing These Schoolgirl Panties Vending Machines Stateside.

POTUS: GTFO, you use that phrase a lot?

EVERGREEN: Fifth time today. Dude won't leave me alone.

POTUS: What do these machines look like?

EVERGREEN: I posted a pic of one to my Flickr album.



POTUS: I'll check it out when I figure out how to get around the filters here at work. Text me when u land in D.C., K?

EVERGREEN: Yep. Hopefully my n00b pilot won't try another corkscrew landing... TTYL.


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Matt said...

You had me at pwnage, although I really like to throw a good pwn3d from time to time.

Rickey Henderson said...

No offense, but what's up with the weird serial killer avatar?

Smitty said...

Texting is a perfect code. It would take our nation's enemies months to figure out what "pwnd" means.

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Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

I can't complain about a guy who has Wilco in his iTunes. He and My Jeff Tweedy are very close.

Jeffrey Ellis said...

This post is made of WIN.

Doug at Taunt Vortex said...

Stateside schoolgirl panty vending machines would be a boon to our economy, and would eliminate the debt if they taxed them like gasoline.

Not that I would ever purchase any...

Adam said...

This is a digital "whassuuuup?" and I enjoyed it very much!

George said...

Rickey's back!

Brian H said...