Wednesday, February 18, 2009

All Quiet on the Blogging Front

Yes, we know, it has been uncharacteristically silent around here recently. It's a mixture of busyness and a flat out inability to sit down and churn out a few semi-coherent paragraphs. It's almost as if lecherous gnomes came in the night and absconded with the portion of Rickey's brain that governs his desire to blog (we believe the blogerella oblongata is the medical term for it). Suffice to say, we are also aware of the cessation of posts here at RwR, and no, your lamentations on the matter have not fallen on deaf ears.

We're not entirely sure what our visitors come here expecting to read, but presumably it has a lot to do with our liberal use of profanity in response to a wide array of topics. Funny thing is, there's no shortage of material to work with these days. And yet, Rickey has remained largely mute on our worsening economic situation. Politics haven't piqued Rickey's interest. Rickey held his tongue as A-Rod had his very own Charles Van Doren moment yesterday in front of the media (the inference being that he shouldn't be commended for telling the truth). Rickey chose to observe a moment of silence as the last concrete pieces of Shea Stadium were torn down. Rickey attempted to pen a "Rickey Recommends" post, but abruptly halted after he was unable to produce any substantial recommendations other than using your left hand to shake hands with people (all the cool kids are doing it). Yes friend, not even an insane story about a sociopathic chimpanzee running amok in Fairfield, CT could budge Rickey from this brutal bout of blogger's block. Times are indeed tough when bankruptcy strikes one's very imagination.

So having pulled the curtain back on the inner machinations of this blog and openly professed a drought of inspiration, we turn to you, dear reader, for inspiration. What tickles your fancy? What would you like to read about? Rickey's open to any ideas you'd be willing to offer. All suggestions are welcome, because at any given moment, we're only a few mouse clicks away from turning this family friendly blog into a hardcore pornographic pay site and laughing all the way to the bank. Half our Google hits already come from people searching for bizarre sexual predilections, so it's a safe assumption that we've already got a preinstalled base for that sort of thing.

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15 comments:

Alex L said...

Well I wouldn't entirely mind if you did change up to porn...

Has Rickey played the new GTA DLC 'the lost and damned' yet, maybe you could do a write up on that.

Rickey Henderson said...

That is a terribe terrible idea. Just fucking atrocious.

Next?

Jeffrey Ellis said...

Write about a pack of South African Tree Sloths who are accidentally bombarded by radiation from a satellite reentry, and gain human intelligence and superpowers. That would be kewl.

George said...

If I had ideas to blog about, why would I give them to you? I've got my own blog to feed.

Isn't there some money in the stimulus package for bloggers?

And am I the only one who giggles hearing the words "stimulus package"?

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't mind hearing more about that John Devaney fella you mentioned a few weeks back.

Rickey Henderson said...

@Jeffrey: Perhaps attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion? C-beams glittering in the dark near Tanhauser Gate?

@George: Your ideas, George. Give them to Rickey. It's for the greater good.

@Anon: Rickey's hard at work penning a three part urban opera revolving around the life and times of one John Devaney, entitled Le nozze di Smokeshow Sloot

Adam said...

You've cooked, you've kvetched, you've recommended...

You've done more than your average blogger, my friend. I've hit the brick-wall of blogging MANY times more than what you're experiencing now-- and my best advice is to just keep writing.

I would really like to see your take on Travis the Chimp and his lover/mother/owner. Maybe have them appear on Maury Povich (paternity tests and all). Or put him in a Quentin Tarantino movie. Or do an episode of COPS with exotic animals ("This aardvark took my crackpipe!").

Smitty said...

A self-serving "Best of Rickey" post?

A caption contest?

A review of free porn sites?

Jeff said...

I think Ricky should write about bizarre sexual predilections... whatever that is.

Anonymous said...

A summary, with editorializing, of the short-lived but compelling Floyd Youmans-Doc Gooden rivalry.

Mike said...

I think "Rickey" should write a post where he pretends to be the "real" Rickey Henderson imitating a white guy from Westchester. While writing in the first person to throw people off.

That would be very post-modern and meta and all that shit, right?

Ron Mexico said...

How about some more of Rickey's music recommendations? I work in a bar and am working on putting some new music in the jukebox. What is everyone's favorite bar music/newer music in general?

Bunk Strutts said...

@ Jeffrey Ellis--
South African Tree Sluts? I gotta bookmark this site.

Bunk Strutts said...

Oop, my mistake. Sloths. I need new glasses and a keyboard that has a 30 minute time delay after I hit "send."

Mark said...

More movie reviews. Perhaps review a nonexistent movie about hyper-intelligent sloths with superpowers, and their fight against the Garden Gnome Ascendancy.