Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Thrilling Advancements in the World of Heckling

"Sony has announced the next version of their baseball franchise, MLB 09 The Show, revealing new features for the series including the ability to record your own crowd chants. Hilarity ensues." --Kotaku, 12/23/08

[And now, a few choice comments that will be emanating from the simulated crowd at Citifield when Rickey snags a copy of the upcoming iteration of this game for the PS3...]

"Hey sweetie, check it out--I can record my voice into the crowd at a virtual Mets game! No, it's not recording now. Yeah, baseball doesn't even start up again for a few weeks, what's your point? Hey, where are you going? Did you know I can create my own online fantasy league in this? Have you ever seen a game with such robust team management utilities? Wait, wait, come back! I haven't even shown you the character creator tool!"

[and then once Rickey gets the hang of this recording thing....]

"Hey Angel Pagan, how do you manage to sign your name without suffering from crippling schizophrenia?"

"Damnit, who gave Pedro directions to the new stadium? Since when does 43 mph qualify as a fastball?"

"What's the matter Wright? Out all night partying? David you're killing your father!"

"Hey Sean Green! That's a snazzy 8.65 ERA you're rocking! Don't trip over the waiver wire!"

"You're the reason I drink Castillo!"

"Hey Church! Your devout Christian beliefs fail to impress me! I will now read aloud from 'Thus Spoke Zarathustra'!"

"Who names their kid Rocky Cherry? Hey buddy, the Vivid Video audition is next week!"

"And J.J. Putz?! You people are making this too easy!"

"Hey Ramon Castro! What's it like to be constantly confused with Earl, the dad from 'Dinosaurs'?"

"Oooooh, Jerry, the double switch! You truly are a delicate genius!"

"What's with the pacifier Pelfrey? TMJ? Never heard of it. You just made that up now didn't you?"

"Damnit Delgado, sitting indian style on first base with your back turned to home plate clearly isn't getting it done!"

"Reyes! Know the situation! Runners on the corner, nobody out! Keep your head in the game!"

"An inning ending double play with RISP? Aw, it's ok Schneider! You're still the best defensive catcher in the league!"

"Lovely, another blown save from K-Rod! Are we sure that this guy wasn't included in the Ponzi scheme that Fred Wilpon fell for?"

"Why is Carlos Beltran lying on the field concussed? Oh no, is that a Mets trainer coming on to the field? Keep those back alley hatchet surgeons away from him! Oh the humanity!"

"Way to flub that toss Figueroa! This is why your family refuses to attend your games!"

"Suck it up Duaner, pitch counts are for pussies ! I am unmoved by the fact that your detached arm is lying 10 feet in front of the mound!"

[posted at Humor Blogs]

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7 comments:

Daniel said...

"Hey Angel Pagan, how do you manage to sign your name without suffering from crippling schizophrenia?"


He he - Great question Rickey.

The Common Man said...

Think of all the wonderful things you could say to Elijah Dukes!

Mike said...

"Hey Angel Pagan, how do you manage to sign your name without suffering from crippling schizophrenia?"

LOL!!! That's great.

Smitty said...

FYI, Rickey, you've ben nominated on my blog for a First Annual Keg Stand Award.

unfinishedrambler said...

I'm going to against the crowd and say the last one was the best one.

"Suck it up Duaner, pitch counts are for pussies ! I am unmoved by the fact that your detached arm is lying 10 feet in front of the mound!"

That was why it was the punch line.

Also now I see why you didn't do so well at the fantasy football thing (smacking myself in the forehead: Rickey Henderson! Ah, I get it now).

Rickey Henderson said...

Don't read too much into it. Rickey's horrendous at fantasy baseball too.

Father Muskrat said...

I worry about your pent-up rage. Perhaps, this will help.