Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Rickey's Decidedly Non-New Year's Blog Post

A bit of advice from Rickey: if it's the last week of December and you attempt to seek medical assistance from your doctor concerning the head cold you have been afflicted with for seven days, don't expect very much. In fact, don't be totally surprised if they get pissed at you for taking up their time with your middling head cold and recommend you purchase a neti pot. What's a neti pot? Something that Alfred Kinsey probably used. Oprah's most likely talked about them at some point. For the uninformed who haven't irritated their doctor enough to have one of these recommended to them, neti pots are similar to ear candles: an antiquated medical practice that works just well enough to be taken seriously and that the pharmaceutical companies haven't yet deemed worthy of replicating in pill form.
A neti pot is a small watering can like container that you put some warm saline solution in. You proceed to hunch over a sink. You then stick the spigot in your nostril, proceed to contort your head in the most unnatural manner conceivable, and allow the saline solution to flow up one nostril and out the other. The trick here is to get the angle just right so that the thick mucousy saline solution doesn't flow down your throat. And when you're all done, you attempt to expel everything from your air passages, in a manner similar to what Ed Harris does in "The Abyss" when he coughs up the pink goo that allows him to breathe deep underwater. (Seriously, we told you that Rickey's doctor was pissed at him). This is most definitely something you do in the privacy of your own home. With the doors securely locked and all the phones unplugged. It is a horrific, wretched, humbling, and transcendent experience. Rickey thinks he found God in the bottom of a sink basin yesterday afternoon.

Our apologies if you were expecting some kind of year end post from Rickey, a nice little piece to put a bow of 2008, but that's all Rickey's got at the moment. Have a safe & happy New Year everyone--Rickey and Ms. Henderson are ringing in the New Year in style with some belly dancing, tandoor cuisine, and unlimited libations at a local Indian eatery. See everyone in '09.

[posted at Humor Blogs]

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David said...

We hope that Rickey is much better soonish.

Neti pots are great for those of use with a propensity to sinus infections as well as helping an actual nasal congestion situation like Rickey is currently experiencing.

Cheers and happy new year to Rickey and Ms Henderson.

Alex said...

If the neti pot didn't work, would your doctor have prescribed a wasabi shooter?

Sue said...

This is just crazy enough to work. I'm trying it.