Friday, December 5, 2008

Crystal Ballin' It

Rickey’s job occasionally takes him into Manhattan, a venture which Rickey, being a suburbanite by trade, finds somewhat curious. It’s a fascinating thing to merge into the throng of commuters waiting for a train on a cold and windy platform, everyone crowded together in the physical sense, yet completely uninvested in each other emotionally. Sure, there’s somewhat of a grim “we’re all in this together goddamnit” feeling, but at the end of they day, all most people have to show for being commuters is a head of hair that clearly indicates that they’ve been shuffling through Manhattan’s long canyons on a windy day. So Rickey took a cue from everyone else, plugged his ipod buds into his ear canals and went into his own little world. And while navigating the NYC subway system and listening to an audiobook of some nasaly New Englander recite Stephen King’s “The Stand,” Rickey began to wonder. Rickey, inspired by King’s sweeping characterization of societal crumbling, wondered: what happens to a city like New York as the economic climes turn bitter?

As far as new infrastructure goes, Rickey suspects that one won’t see a lot of bustling construction sites anytime soon (not necessarily a bad thing if you’ve ever driven on the West Side Highway past Donald Trump’s hulking monstrosities). Public works programs will most likely come to a grinding halt as deficit plagued agencies slash overtime allowances, the lifeblood of any reputable civic project. Bonds won’t be floated to finance new major public works ventures, and its safe bet that developers won’t be building any new residential buildings any time soon. The sea of condominium towers that large parts of Manhattan have become will be the last great landmarks built for a while, standing as testaments to the real estate lunacy that got the nation into this financial mess in the first place.

And what of Manhattan’s inhabitants? Oh, they’ll cut back too. On everything: clothes, accessories, gadgets, whatever. Shiny new gizmos, shoes, and attaches will collect dust as New Yorkers opt to tough it out and stick with their tried and true stuff for a bit longer than usual. Overall, everything and everyone will simply stand still, and the only outward indicator that we’ll be in 2009 and not 2008 will be our calendars, as New York turns into a snow globe, frozen in time for the next few years. Granted, it’s not a very compelling vision (we know, you wanted to hear fantastic leaps of imagination about former bond traders tending fields of corn in the middle of a ruined Times Square) but it’s what went through Rickey’s head as he shuffled into Manhattan for the day.

And on that note, Rickey is sorely in need of a change in scenery, so he and Ms. Henderson are off to the Catskills for the weekend for some hiking, dining, and relaxation (in the mountains, there Rickey shall feel free!) The world is, as they say, a bit too much with Rickey these days and a quick weekend away may be precisely what the doctor ordered. Well, we hope anyway, because Rickey needs to be well rested for Monday, which is a rather important day on the Aztec calendar as well as here at RwR

[posted at Humor Blogs]

Stumble Upon Toolbar


Diesel said...

Isn't it cold in the Catskills this time of year? Not that I've ever been there, of course. I've never even been to this mythical "New York City" of which you speak. But in I'm in central CA and I'm cold.

maybe i can help... said...

Fun Fun... Mrs. MICH and I were up in the 'Skills at the beginning of October. We were also just up in Vermont. I say face the cold! Run in to it! Warm vacations are for the weak of heart and Yankee fans!

Smitty said...

Geez, Rickey. I sorta feel suicidal.

George said...

Rickey, admit it, you're going to do some stand-up. Rickey the Borscht Belt Comedian--I can totally see it.

Just leave out your vision of the future.

Rickey Henderson said...

Diesel: yep, it's chilly but the Henderson's do well in the colder climes.

Smitty/George: you mean to say you dislike Rickey's maudlin vision of the future? Yeah, when Rickey blogs seriously, his writing tends to sound like the heady writings of a 10th grade english student. Rickey's bad, it won't happen again.

Doug at Taunt Vortex said...

Yeah, things are not-so-good, and will probably get more not-so-good in the not-too-distant future. Thank God there's not a hyphen shortage - yet.

The point I meant to make about 3 sentences ago was that things could be worse. Did you ever see "I am Legend" ?

weesle909 said...

Catching up on some blog reading...

I couldn't help but notice you and another of my favorite blogs used the same painting/drawing for your Thanksgiving Day posts.

(Hmmm, now I wonder if it's famous and I'm just too ignorant to know. I better check, be right back...

...and after a search on "first thanksgiving" and "famous painting", I see that it is indeed, so perhaps this is not the coincidence I thought it was. Oh well.)

His, however, was humorously captioned, so I have to give him the nod on this one.

And since the blog is as funny as Rickey's, I'll share it: