(Definition courtesy of Merriam-Webster-Henderson)
Date: 14th century
1 : loss of hope and surrender to despair
2 : a state of hopelessness leading to rashness
3: driving into Queens this evening to watch the Mets play the Cubs and praying to your heathen god that Johan Santana can pitch a complete game and spare you the soul shattering agony of witnessing a member of the Metropolitan bullpen trot out onto the pitchers mound
Yes, that’s right, Rickey is going to tonight’s game. On purpose. Because if nothing else, watching Luis Castillo strand fourteen runners in one night builds character, much like driving 65mph through a hailstorm. This nosedive would be a helluva lot easier to endure if only the New York media wasn’t constantly drilling it into Rickey’s head that this is a repeat of September, 2007. And while it isn’t a verbatim retread of last year’s fiery plane crash, one does get that same feeling of a lifeless team going quietly into that dark and ashy Flushing night. So here’s Rickey’s ultimatum: either the Mets turn it around this evening or we’re taking a mental health day, going into complete baseball blackout mode, and you can look forward to a lengthy postmortem of the 2008 Mets season somewhere down the road. Oh yes, there will be cursing. Objects will be thrown. Feelings will be hurt. One thing we can tell you for sure—Rickey will not resemble anything close to sober when he ambles through the turnstiles at Shea this evening.
[Posted at Humor Blogs]
Tuesday, September 23, 2008