Monday, September 22, 2008

Caption Contest Monday

Last night, a nation bade a bittersweet farewell to a hallowed institution. We are of course speaking of the closing of the doors of the house that Ruth built, that Billy Martin relieved himself in, and that Suzie Waldman refuses to vacate and most likely plans on chaining herself to. Now, Rickey was able to watch the ESPN coverage of last night’s Yankees game for a whopping four minutes until the urge to set himself on fire and douse tobasco sauce in his eyes become too great and he flipped over to the Simpsons. Since when does the FCC permit full blown fellatio (courtesy of Monsieurs Miller and Morgan) to be broadcast on cable television? But that’s neither here nor there. We’re told that it was a night to remember. A night of magic, memories, and moustaches. And in honor of it, we’re running a caption contest. See image below. Feel the gravitas.
The person to affix the funniest, wittiest, and downright snarkiest caption for the picture above wins their choice of the following:

1) A shout out to your website on RwR

2) Eternal glory in the knowledge of a job well done

3) Porn links

Ready, steady go. Make with the captioning, folks. Now if you'll excuse Rickey, he'll be following the exploits of that other baseball team in New York with it's sights focused on the playoffs.

[Posted at Humor Blogs]

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23 comments:

George said...

Mariano Rivera holds some unearthed spit chaw from Ron Guidry in his left hand while holding all the World Championship trophies the Yankees have won this century in his right.

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Statler said...

World famous vampire pitcher Mariano "Sandman" Rivera collects some grave dirt for his coffin in the new Yankee Stadium.

The Hypocritical One said...

And then we held Zimmer down...right here. And that's when I poured the cup of shit all over his face..just like this. That's my favorite memory in this ball-park.

I suppose I also enjoyed the Mustache ride from Mattingly.

Bob said...

What do you mean you can't see the ball? Its right here in the dirt. What are you blind?

Smitty said...

Mariano Rivera measures the size of his self-esteem in "actual size."

Adam said...

"They told me this is where they buried Joe Torre!"

renalfailure said...

It is in these fields that Mariano Rivera and his trusty sportswriters pick coffee beans every morning.

Adam said...

"Everybody stand back, I think my contact lense fell... here!"

Adam said...

"With this cup of dirt, I will fill in the Panama Canal! MUHAHAHAHA!"

Adam said...

"This dirt will work perfectly for my kid's Thanksgiving diorama."

Adam said...

"Posada told me that this is where Hank and Hal buried the treasure!"

Adam said...

"This is where I will plant a cashew tree."

Alex L said...

"shhh, everyone, your going to scare him again, come on talent fairy get in the box, I need to milk your teats again!"

Alex L said...

"First you get the dirt, then you get the money, then you get the women... and then if your lucky you get traded to a ball team that doesnt make me collect dirt to sell on the highway offramps"

Mike said...

"All eyes were on Yankee reliever Mariano Riviera as he attempted the much-rumored, but never-seen 'Panamanian Hoodoo Voodoo Extraction of his Contract with Mephistopheles' from the Stadium's mound.

Although no one would admit it, they all knew if he was unsuccessful, he'd be no better than Aaron Heilman next year.

Meanwhile, in the distance a dog barked and Derek Jeter moaned as he shot his load down Susan Waldman's throat."

Rickey Henderson said...

Good stuff folks. Keep em coming--Rickey will announce the winner tomorrow.

Deb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deb said...

"Madre di dios, look at this bunch of idiots! What are they looking at, anyway? Don't they know the Mets are collapsing across town, the economy's in the shitter, and there's football on TV? And they're wasting time watching me playing in the dirt? I wonder what they'd do if I threw it at them...!!!

And HEY, maybe the Mets might want some of this stuff..." *Mariano runs off to call Fred Wilpon*

Toasty Joe said...

Mariano Rivera thinks he is collecting a sample of dirt from the pitcher's mound, but he is actually collecting a concoction of dirt, pine tar, tobacco juice, and Suzyn Waldman's discarded pubic hairs and dried vaginal drippings.

LOBO said...

"This is the best damn chewing tobacco in the world."

(LOL @ ADAM)

:)

CajoleJuice said...

"This collection of dirt will help grow enough crops to feed 15 Panamanian families. It's all the dead bodies in this mound."

muskrat said...

okay, where did that motherfucker bury the redsox jersey?