Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Zen and the Art of Google Keyword Searches

Hey kids, you know what’s fun? Using the internet to unabashedly spy on people. And thanks to the wonderful folks at Sitemeter, Rickey can do precisely that. No, we’re not talking about anything sketchy, so have no fear; Rickey isn’t hiding in the bushes outside your house with high powered binoculars or anything nefarious like that. Instead, we just like to periodically check up on exactly how people find their way to this website. The most intriguing of these ways is to look at specific key word searches that led folks right here to RwR.

Here’s how it works. Let’s say this site contained the use of the phrase or words “roaming monkey death squad” (it does). A keyword search in Google or Yahoo would yield this site as a possible match for one’s query. And like a moth to flame, a visitor would find themselves inexplicably drawn to this fierce playground of irreverence. So come along as we take a peek at the manner in which wayward souls find themselves stumbling upon Rickey's site.

“olympic theme rip off John Williams” Dude, we’re working on it. We’ve contracted the services of one Senior Spielbergo and are actively seeking out Juan Williams to compose.

“who is vigo?” If you have to ask, you don’t want to know. Death is but a door, time a window …he’ll be back.

“riding cult dog riding” Yeek. We actually left out some of the more vulgar keyword searches, but in its own way, this one is even more unsettling.

“how to post a blog on rickey” Oh, we think you’ve come to the right place.

“peyton and eli manning playing hungry hungry hippo” Eli gets quite pouty when he loses, we’re told. He’s more of an “Operation” fan.

“prescription blu-blockers” More like a prescription for unadulterated awesomeness, if you ask us.

“chechen interior decorator” Yes, we keep several on staff, what of it? They’re quite good at picking out tasteful curtain designs. (Shhhh, don’t tell the Ruskies…)

“unseen puppy bowl hump” Wait, if it’s unseen, why persist in googling it? Is puppy fornication like the moon landing for you?

“odyssey slot machine” Sing in Rickey, o Muse! And through him, tell the story of that man skilled in all ways of gambling! The wanderer, harried for years on end, after he plundered the proud stronghold of Yonkers City Raceway!

“mensch Shawn Green” Daaaawwww, Ms. Henderson still sorely misses the Hebrew Hammer. As does Rickey. Don’t believe us? Here’s proof:
[Vote for Rickey’s post at Humor Blogs]

Stumble Upon Toolbar

8 comments:

Smitty said...

peyton and eli manning playing hungry hungry hippo

Comedy. That, sir, is comedy.

One of mine? German barmaids.

RMatlack said...

How about some fun with www.gizoogle.com - yo yo dawg this site banging. I like converting peoples professional profiles here at work with Gizoogle, excellent method for wasting corporate dollars (while hard at work).

jeremy said...

remember "peace dog" by the cult? i love that song.

Rickey Henderson said...

no, and uh, what?

Sully Sullivan said...

Rickey man, you know what's weird.

Every single one of those was my search. Am I the only one who comes here?

Ha, I actually just signed up to sitemeter myself.

Sully Sullivan said...

Rickey man, you know what's weird.

Every single one of those was my search. Am I the only one who comes here?

Ha, I actually just signed up to sitemeter myself.

Chris Wood said...

That is inspired. My next post is going to contain the words "Adam Sandler jizz monkey." Just because.

David said...

>>Rickey isn’t hiding in the bushes outside your house with high powered binoculars

Well, then how would Rickey explain the pictures I have and the foot prints the police have documented?