Rickey Reviews Odd Books Left in the Second Floor Staff Kitchen

In Rickey’s office, something of an unofficial revolving library exists. Coworkers bring in a mishmash of mostly Danielle Steele and James Patterson books with the intention that other coworkers will enjoy them, but as far as Rickey can tell, no one actually reads them (and for a very good reason). Until now, that is, because Rickey has taken it upon himself to peruse some of the finer literary offerings from the heap. So join us on the inaugural edition of this column as we examine some of these hidden literary gems and downright oddities in the second floor staff kitchen of Rickey’s office.Ted Kennedy: In Over His Head. Well there’s an exceedingly tasteful book title for you. And just when we'd thought Chappaquiddick jokes were getting old... In case you forgot, there’s a sizeable swath of the country that still gets off on demonizing what remains of the Kennedy family. They’ll go after the Kennedys' pets if they can. It’s a sport for these people, much like quail hunting. Flipping through this incredibly sensationalist book, we get the feeling that its original intended title was “Brews, Broads, Brahmins and Bridges: The Teddy Kennedy Affair!” but the author’s editor turned down the idea. Someone from Rickey’s office clearly has a clinically unhealthy obsession here, because they brought in a whole slew of books on the Kennedy scandals. We’re talking everything from “The Sins of the Father: Joseph P. Kennedy and the Dynasty he Founded” by Ronald Kessler to “The Kennedy Men: Three Generations of Sex, Scandal and Secrets” by Nellie Bly. Ugh, next…

The Fourth and Richest Reich. That’s funny, Rickey had always thought that the whole “Reich” thing kind of ended with the third one on May 7, 1945. Apparently not, according to author, quack economist, and all around conspiracy theorist Erwin Hartrich. Nope, they’re on the march again, and along with the Freemasons, the Illuminati, the Knights Templar, and your weird neighbor Edmund, are out to create a New World Order. And this isn't the only book in the collection that delves into the subject of Nazis. Again, this is fairly unnerving stuff. There’s something rather unsettling about people with a fixation on the Third Reich, much like the repressed and insane father from “American Beauty” who hordes Nazi memorabilia. You get the feeling that something’s just not right there. True story: Rickey once briefly dated a girl whose idea of a good nice date movie was “Downfall: The Last Days Inside Hitler’s Bunker.” She actually said: “there’s something fascinating about watching movies about Hitler.” Rickey waited until the car ride home to inform her that the relationship was over.

Christmas in America. Given the fact that the same person who brought in those other books was probably responsible for this one too, this is the creepiest one in the batch. And egad, the face on that little girl is pure nightmare fuel. Mazel tov, anonymous coworker, you've managed to make Rickey fear the coming of Christmas!
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