Tuesday, March 11, 2008

On Frontiersmen & Lavatories

Ever see that episode of “Davy Crockett” where Davy and his sidekick get ambushed by a gang of marauding injuns and proceed to scare them off by running around, making noises and creating the illusion that they’re a venerable army of 50 rather than just two frontiersmen? And the injuns totally buy it? Well that’s essentially what Rickey is reminded of when he hears reports about the Clinton campaign floating the ridiculous notion of a Clinton/Obama ticket. (In this insightful analogy, Davy Crocket is Hillary Clinton, the gullible injuns are the media, and the American public is a gang of beavers banging their heads on a log while watching the whole damn thing transpire). And that concludes Rickey’s in depth political commentary for the day.

Speaking of all things Hillary-related, Rickey is pleased to report that things are proceeding nicely in the quest for a suitable wedding venue. Amidst all the knee buckling talk from venue owners about stocking ponds with fish that coordinate with one’s wedding colors and filling pools with dahlia petals, Rickey and Ms Henderson found a location that boasts the following item:

It's a tad on the blurry side, but the text reads: "On 15 July 1999, Hillary Rodham Clinton used this toilet." If that's not a deal clincher for a wedding hall, well, we just don't know what is. You know how Rickey knows this is bogus? Because Hillary pees standing up. (We kid the former First Lady, we kid...)

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17 comments:

AmyV said...

That is the weirdest sign on a toilet ever, made even odder by the fact that it's BELOW the sign telling folks not to use tampons.

But I agree. If that's not a sign that you should book that venue, I don't know what is. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that if that's not a sign, there is no G -- (Amy is struck down by lightning).

Egan Foote said...

That's nothing. Hillary and I shared a catheter bag for two days.

Egan, out!

Smitty said...

Hillary Rodham Clinton stepped in my dog's poo. I've never cleaned it up.

Statler said...

Third line of text:

"This means you, madam First Lady."

Adam said...

Oh man, you think she dropped a deuce too?

Toasty Joe said...

Yes, I agree, the big question is, did she make number 1 or number 2?

George said...

I think she used the toilet as a spot to have a hot tryst with Elliot Spitzer.

Who she then hypnotized and sent to kill Vince Foster.

And some puppies.

matt h said...

Did Mrs. Henderson accompany you to the men's room to take that picture?

George said...

Hey! That Matt Drudge stole my sign in again!

Alex said...

Well logic dictates that if she was at a venue used for weddings, she was most likely socializing at some fundraiser. I'm sure cocktails were flowing and that small appetizer trays were being passed around. I'd say that for every small bit of food she had, she consumed at least 1 drink if not more. This ratio clearly suggests that she went #1.

Q.E.D.

Alex said...

Also Rickey, you might want to shy away from starting a blog posting with the word "On....". It reeks of New Yorker-ish writing. And instead of "frontiersmen & Lavatories", go with "dudes and shitters"

Alex L said...

You 'kid'... thats bullshit and you know it Rickey, if anyone pees standing up its her.

Mike said...

Bah, that's nothing. It's not as if the sign said "Larry Craig used this toilet."

In that case, sign the contract and book those nuptials.

Rickey Henderson said...

George: seriously? a login theft? Rickey will investigate the matter if you desire...

Matt H: it was actually part of the tour that the place was giving, so yes, she did.

Alex: if Rickey wants to talk like the New Yawker, then that's what he'll do goddamnit.

Mike: that indeed would've been a clincher. Nothing says "joyous wedding" quite like a venue once frequented by a closeted GOP member.

Deb said...

PLEASE tell me you took your own label maker into the bathroom and made that. That would be the most brilliant prank ever. In fact, I may have to go out and buy a label maker to make one of those for my own home.

Rickey Henderson said...

Sorry Deb, it's legit. Knowing the owner of the place where the photo was taken, Rickey can assure you that they have no reason to lie about this.

Mike said...

a closeted GOP member

I think the problem arose because Mr. Craig chose not to keep his member closeted.