Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Odds & Ends

Rickey has always held the belief that life is marked by the ebb and flow of random shenanigans. Some shenanigans by design, others not so much. Shenanigans of the unanticipated variety occurred last week at Rickey’s local A&P while Rickey was procuring flowers and chicken soup for Ms. Henderson who was at home recovering from a minor surgical procedure. Having obtained the aforementioned lilies and Campbell’s Select chicken soup, Rickey proceeded to the checkout aisle where the cashier looked at Rickey, looked at the items on the conveyor belt, then, without and warning, proceeded to vomit all over the place. We’re talking scatter shot: all over the flowers, all over the soup, all over the conveyor belt (but not, thankfully, all over Rickey).

Now Rickey likes to think of himself as a worldly person. A man who is rarely fazed. But when confronted with the sudden and inexplicable manifestation of partially digested food in a very public place, Rickey freezes up. So while the cashier slunk behind the counter and gurgled something about needing a mop, Rickey coolly went back, obtained a new set of flowers and soup, and tried his luck at another checkout aisle. It’s not that Rickey’s an inconsiderate prick, it’s just that surprise vomiting incidents don’t fit in with Rickey’s understanding of what a trip to the supermarket should entail. Who expects the cashier at the check out aisle to suddenly throw up in front of them? No one! It’s like chaos theory in action!

And then there’s the variety of shenanigans that Rickey perpetrates accidentally. Shenanigans that a bit of forethought and consideration could easily have avoided. Picture this: it’s a nice sunny day and Rickey and Ms. Henderson are getting into Rickey’s car. Rickey notices grime on the windshield and operates the washer fluid, not realizing that Ms. Henderson was in the process of getting into Rickey’s automobile at the time. And voila, windshield washer fluid ends up in Ms. Henderson’s eyes and riotous calamity ensues on an otherwise routine errand running expedition.

These two recent events made Rickey wonder: can blogging consistently about oneself in the third person make someone a little too self absorbed? Can it drive them to forsake common courtesy and social decency and fixate only on themselves? Rickey is starting to suspect that it can. We’d use this as an excuse to post less often, but frankly, blogging angrily about sports, culture, life, and one's blossoming drinking problem is a whole lot more fun than you'd expect.

And now for something completely different: a circus in China featuring a lion riding a horse.


Indeed, what the everloving fuck? How happy do you think that horse is right now? (Not very, we’re guessing). And judging by the picture, that lion is all business. It would almost be funny if it wasn’t so, you know, wantonly barbaric… Ladies and gentlemen we proudly present your home for the 2008 Summer Olympics! Coming soon: a lemur riding a lion riding a horse!

Meanwhile, in the exciting realm of legitimate sports, we’re pleased to report that Rickey received a few photos from last week’s Giants parade in NYC. We’re sharing them with you way past the fact because, honestly, Rickey’s still on cloud nine over Big Blue’s incredible playoff run. Here you go:

From RwR reader bybrklyn:

And from RwR reader Tom (aka, Maybe I Can Help) here’s a flickr album of the celebration.

And lest we forget, Tom, the designer of our awesome new banner, is soliciting suggestions for a name for his new boat. Those interested in nautical immortality should proceed to the post at Toasty Joe’s site and leave variants on the appellation “Bone Smuggler” in the comments section over there.

P.S.: Today marks our 200th post here at Riding With Rickey. We don’t have anything particularly witty to say about that, we just felt like you should be aware of that sort of thing. And humbled. Enjoy your Wednesday folks.

[Posted at Humor-Blogs]

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13 comments:

leigh said...

please don't stop blogging in 3rd person. now that i get it, i kinda like it.
p.s. hope mrs. henderson's feeling well. i just had some surgery myself and chicken soup and flowers are always appreciated.

Rickey Henderson said...

leigh: Rickey has no intention of doing so. It would most likely alienate and alarm our regulars. Thanks for the well wishes--it was a very minor proceedure and Ms. Henderson is doing just fine.

Chris C said...

Still disappointed you didn't use my picture of the parade. I thought it came out well despite being hundreds of miles away. :P

On a serious note, congrats on your 200th post. You've already surpassed 75% of the bloggers out there who quit after two months hehe.

Mark said...

Happy 200th Rickey.

The look on the horse's face pretty much says it all.

And nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition (or copious emesis at the supermarket.

m.

George said...

How about a vomiting checkout person riding a lion riding a horse? Now that's a circus.

You could clean it all up with window washing fluid--from a high-powered firehose.

Congrats on the milestone post, and healthy wishes to the missus.

Lord Likely said...

Congratulations on your 200th, sir!

For your 300th will you be providing us with a picture of a wolf riding a lion atop a horse?

I hope so!

Alex L said...

200, wow nice work.

How about a lemur riding a wolf riding a lion while the horse watches re runs of bewitched...

You did the right thing with the checkout attendant, if you acknowledge them it just encourages their behaviour.

Mike said...

Congrats on the 200. And best wishes to Ms. Henderson.

Meanwhile, the vomiting checkout girl perplexes me. That may be the strangest story I've ever heard.

Smitty said...

Congrats on 200 posts Rickey!

Alex L said...

Wow what a comment ^... I dont know where to start with that one.

Mike said...

Well, that's not quite vomiting in the checkout line, but vomiting in the comments thread is pretty close . . .

Rickey Henderson said...

For the record, it's good to know that no matter how crazy & neurotic Rickey becomes, he'll never be as pants shittingly insanse as the guy who just posted that little rant. Wow.

Deb said...

Happy 200.

How terrified does that horse look? It's eyes may pop out.