Friday, October 12, 2007

Goodbye, Financial Solvency!

Tonight Rickey is hopping on a plane bound for Las Vegas and won’t be back until sometime next week. And Rickey probably won’t be sober again until Thanksgiving. In the meantime, if someone could explain to Rickey how to wager on football (evidently that’s kind of a big deal over there) that would be fantastic. Apparently this is kind of a “dangerous week” for football gambling, but a buddy was nice enough to provide Rickey with the following picks:

CIN -3.5 over KC
NE -4.5 over Dallas
Texans +6.5 over JAX


Not that we have any idea whatsoever what any of that actually means, but we figure the six hour red-eye flight to Nevada should provide Rickey with ample opportunity to research the matter. Feel free to chime in with advice in the comments section, but be warned: if Rickey returns to the eastern seaboard wearing a barrel and a frown, he'll be looking for retribution. Due to the byzantine rules involved, we’re not even daring to wager anything on baseball. Also, the entire sport of baseball is kind of dead to Rickey at the moment (But fuck it: go Rockies!)

And while Rickey is definitely looking forward to traveling to Las Vegas, a city that boasts fillet mignon and oyster rockefeller buffets, he will also sadly miss the opportunity to challenge Gilbert Arenas to a game of Halo. For those who might have missed it, Gilbert Arenas, famed NBA star, cheats at Halo. Awesome. See you folks in a week.

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12 comments:

AmyV said...

Sigh. Rickey, Rickey, Rickey.

The plus signs mean that you're betting the team will win by at least that many points over the other team. The minus signs mean the team you're betting on will lose by at least that many points to the other team.

Have fun in Vegas. I got married in a drive-thru there.

Rickey said...

For the record, I'd kind of figured that out. The hard part is actually making predictions.

A drive-thru marriage? Pretty awesome. If only Rickey could get away with that...

michael o. said...

If you want to make predictions, don't think and ask children with no reason skills or any woman.

Rickey said...

Or I could just go with Bill Simmons' lousy picks... That works too, right?

Noah said...

Smitty does not, never has, and never will understand the mechanics of gambling.

When Smitty goes to Vegas, it's for the strippers and booze.

I am actually still not completely sober from my last trip there a year ago. I just function now on varying levels of inebriation as if it actually were sobriety.

Noah said...

To answer your question on my blog:

Think a Disney Oktoberfest with lots of flashing lights and girls who aren't quite German wearing leiterhosen that are a little...sexier than they actual German barmaid dresses.

So...not all bad, but not very authentic. Vegas can't pull-off authentic. They can only pull-off overdone.

Rickey said...

Kind of figured... Well hey, at least it's an excuse to drink.

michael o. said...

Does anyone see the irony in my grammatical disaster?

Strippers are nice for sure, but there are plenty of those everywhere and none come close to the delightful ones in Canada. If you want to go somewhere solely for alcohol and strippers, Lundies Lane in Canada is the way to go. If you have never gone, it is a must. We go up to the Jets/Bills game and it is short ride from Buffalo. So now you have an excuse for in 2008. A trip to Buffalo has been more scandalous than any trip to Vegas for me.

Vegas is for gambling, drinking, and not sleeping. The strippers are nice, but there is money to be lost.

Rickey said...

So that was a gramatical error and you don't actuallly believe that women in general lack reason or proper decision making abilities?

Scaevola said...

The plus signs mean that you're betting the team will win by at least that many points over the other team. The minus signs mean the team you're betting on will lose by at least that many points to the other team.

Actually, it's the opposite. The plus sign means you add that amount to the team's score to compare it to the other score. The minus sign means you subtract that amount and compare it to the other team's score.

If you can get a line on the Baltimore game at better than -10, go for it (with Baltimore). If the Oakland/San Diego line moves more towards SD (it's currently at -10; it could get higher), take Oakland in that game.

I disagree about Cincinnati/K.C.- it's too risky. I like the New England pick; they'll likely beat Dallas by 10 or more.

Good luck.

Mike said...

I've never been to Vegas actually. While I have no objections to gambling or strippers, neither are top tier entertainment on my depth chart.

Booze on the other hand . . .

But I can drink right here in NYC, and amazing as it seems, I suspect the beers are cheaper here.

Scaevola said...

I hope you took my advice. I was only wrong about Oakland.