Friday, September 14, 2007

This is where Rickey posts recommendations of noteworthy consumables, practices, and pastimes that have been deemed invaluable for the reader’s betterment. All products and pieces of advice listed herein have been Rickey tested and approved. Again, this is in no way shape or form a complete rip off of McSweeney’s (fa-la-la-la-la, lawyers, Rickey can’t hear you). Enjoy this week’s installment of

RICKEY RECOMMENDS:

Actually posting a “Rickey Recommends” column with some regularity. Ha! How’s that for self-referential wittiness? Anyway, our apologies: being a total moonbat, Rickey has been remiss in updating this section and will strive for regularity in the future.

Heroes. Rickey and Ms. Henderson just caught up with the first season and can report that this show is definitely worth your time. For a program about a group of super powered individuals, Heroes displays a surprising amount of emotional impact as well as some terrific wit. Just give it a shot: Rickey promises that this show will have you getting a little misty, chuckling, or flat out cheering out loud. You know, everything that 24 has dropped the ball on in recent seasons…

Not exposing your testicles during group photos for a wedding. It’s just common sense really, especially if you’re the brother of the groom. But in the guy’s defense, this was absolutely hilarious at the time.

Donating blood. Yes, it’s a wonderfully charitable and important thing to do, but more importantly they provide you with free cookies and juice when you’re done. As well as vacation time and even free baseball tickets in some cases. All this for a mere pint of blood? Oy gevalt, what a bargain!

Picking up the new Dropkick Murphys album. Who cares if it’s not even on store shelves until the 18th? That wouldn’t stop a person like you now would it? Pour yourself something Irish and intoxicating, listen to the album, and then go pick a fight with your landlady. You’ll thank us in the morning.

Going apple picking. If for no other reason than it allows you to quote Ned Flanders: “You know, most people don't know the difference between apple cider and apple juice, but I do. Now here's a little trick to help you remember. If it's clear and yella', you've got juice there, fella. If it's tangy and brown, you're in cider town!”

Picking up Halo 3 at a midnight release event on September 25th. Not a gamer? Well bully for you then. You’ve still heard of this beloved & innovative franchise we assume, and suffice to say, there’s a pretty good reason it has grossed over $600 million—more money than pretty much any Hollywood movie ever made.

Not attending a Florida Marlins game anytime soon. By Rickey’s math, 74,600 empty seats at Dolphins Stadium means that only 400 people attended the Marlins/Nationals game on Wednesday. Ouch. (This would have been a prime opportunity for all you hecklers down in Florida however). How comfortable are we that the Marlins are a two time World Series winning team?

Tea Tree Shampoo by Paul Mitchell. Running low on things to advocate, Rickey has resorted to glancing around his shower and recommending whatever items catch his eye. It was a toss up between recommending the shampoo or “not cleaning your shower tiles until an unsightly amount of soap scum materializes.” So we went with the shampoo instead. Seriously though, despite being pricey it’s terrific stuff. Using it makes your hair all tingly and whatnot, leaving you feeling quite rejuvenated and awake. And really, who can put a price tag on suddenly feeling alert at 6:30 in the morning? (This shampoo also works well on beards by the way).

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