Monday, May 7, 2007

Roger Clemens is a Yankee again. For a mere $28 million for 4 months work (that’s about $900,000 per game) the Yanks have reacquired this seemingly ageless pitching wonder for the 2007 season. That’s odd, Rickey had totally expected Clemens to challenge himself by signing with the Toronto Blue Jays… We can safely assume that the contract includes a provision for a Viking burial for Clemens midfield at Yankee stadium, yes? And where is poor Carl Pavano to comment on all this?

The best part? Signing Clemens doesn’t make a lick of sense. He’s 45 and went 7-6 last season. What kind of production are the Yanks expecting from this guy? You’re kidding yourself if you think he’s even a six inning pitcher. And oh yes, lest we forget, MLB still has that pesky steroid testing policy in effect. In an era of constant drug testing, Clemens will show his age after a mere two pitching starts. More importantly, isn’t Clemens scared a little? Rickey would like to point out that pitching for the Yankees this season is the baseball equivalent of playing drums for Spinal Tap.

So what’s the next shoe to drop in this ridiculous soap opera? Well look for the Astros to quietly release one baseball player by the name of Cody Clemens from their farm system. Followed by Cashman snatching him up the next day. Quick, is Nolan Ryan doing anything these days? And who’s that emerging from the dugout? Why it’s the ghost of Joe DiMaggio floating out to play centerfield for the Bronx Bombers. Rickey is predicting it now.

Meanwhile, in another part of town, the Mets continue to play solid baseball…

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9 comments:

Adam said...

we both posted about Clemens today!

Smitty said...

He’s 45 and went 7-6 last season

That's about all there is to it. I can't figure out for the life of me why they would do this, other than to get under someone's skin.

Rickey Henderson said...

Ha--so we did buddy. Ya gotta love the latest chapter in the Clemens soap opera.

Just let him try to pitch inside fastballs to Paul LoDucca during interleague play... See what happens Roger.

Smitty: you're right, the Red Sox nation must be going apeshit right about now.

Peter N said...

Ricky makes sense!!

Mike said...

This Clemens thing makes me ill.

Toasty Joe said...

"Rickey would like to point out that pitching for the Yankees this season is the baseball equivalent of playing drums for Spinal Tap."

Heh.

Rickey Henderson said...

It sickens Rickey too Mike. How many more long walks off into the sunset does one man need to stroke his ego?

Mets Guy in Michigan said...

"Rickey would like to point out that pitching for the Yankees this season is the baseball equivalent of playing drums for Spinal Tap."

Brilliant

Billy said...

Most ballplayers today are taking homeopathic human growth hormone oral spray because it's safe, undetectable, and legal for over the counter sales. As time goes on it seems it might be considered as benign a performance enhancer as coffee, aspirin, red bull, chewing tobacco, and bubble gum.