Tuesday, May 15, 2007

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Stadium...

Well maybe not so much “funny” as much as “severely fucked up beyond all quantifiable measure of belief.” But the catchy referential title works better.

Anyway, Rickey takes it all back. He freaking loves his Volvo. Loves it. A 1990 740GL has many redeeming qualities, the major one being that it's essentially a tank sans the treads. This proves useful when say, some misbegotten madman in a hurry cuts across several lanes on the Grand Central Parkway, loses control of his car, clips a BMW (which then slams into your rear bumper) and flips his vehicle over on it’s side.

Here’s how it happened: Rickey was traveling with Ms. Henderson’s sister to Shea, they were almost to the Northern Blvd. exit for the stadium when all sorts of silliness breaks loose in Rickey’s rear view mirror. A seriously large bump is felt in Rickey’s Volvo and he turns around to see something that appears to be a car sliding along the pavement on its side. Rickey gets control of his trusty Volvo, pulls over to the side, noticing that somehow oil has been sprayed all over his automobile.

Both thankfully ok, Rickey and Ms. Henderson’s sister hop out, run over to the car lying on its side and try to get the driver to turn off his engine (this is generally a sound idea when your car is lying on its side and leaking oil). Unfortunately, for some reason, the words “turn off your engine!” were interpreted by this curious fellow as “honk your horn repeatedly, speak only in Hebrew, and whatever you do, don’t turn off your engine!” After a few minutes of this fun filled back and forth, the language barrier was broken, and the engine finally turned off.

And then a John Woo style gunfight broke out, an apache helicopter showed up, and Rickey stowed away in the chopper’s landing gear as it was taking off, holding onto the bars like some crazed koala. (Ok, fine, we might’ve made that last part up).

Anyhow, the ambulance and firemen finally show up, remove the driver from his flipped over car, get the other driver out of her BMW, tend to them both, and the cops take a statement from Rickey and Ms. Henderson’s sister who then head off to Shea. Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt. And other than being covered in oil and having a slightly smudged bumper from the impact of the BMW, Rickey’s Volvo is totally fine. And Rickey also learned that Ms. Henderson’s sister kind of has a thing for firemen. Okey dokey, fearing a beating, we’re moving on.

So, um, Rickey Recommends: Not perishing in a fiery automobile accident?

Our apologies to anyone who finds the decision to post this story ghoulish, but Rickey finds it very cathartic to get this all off his chest. Bully for you if you disagree. Rickey took the picture seen here on his cell phone for insurance reasons. And Rickey would like to clear up any possible misconceptions by saying that no, he’s not one of those types from that awful David Cronenberg movie “Crash” who intentionally get into car accidents for kicks.

Needless to say, tailgating in the Shea Stadium parking lot was very necessary before entering the stadium. Because nothing says “it’s good to be alive” quite like pounding Coronas in a public parking lot then ambling in to Shea to watch a Mets game. And how about the Mets with the walk in the bottom of the 9th inning to win the game? In Rickey’s eyes, the Mets winning thanks to a zany walk was really the only way the night could possibly have ended.

…well that or accidentally driving through the EZ Pass lane on the way home and now facing two points on his driver’s license and a $90 ticket. Take your pick.

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Adam said...

WOW. And to blow through an EX Pass lane no less? You're a madman, brother!

Ed in Westchester said...

Glad you and and your sister-in law are OK.
That would have scared the crap out of me.

As for the ticket, well, that sucks.
Wait, are you saying you live in Westchester, and do NOT have EZ-Pass? Get one, now. It is awesome, even if you don't use it that often.

Ms. Henderson's Sister said...

It's true, I do have a thing for firemen and I hope dearly that officer was kidding when he menitoned the points on your license and a ticket...he didn't seem to be kidding but seriously, people make mistakes, it is only human.

I had a blast even if we did almost die! hahahaha

Rickey Henderson said...

Yeah Ed, Rickey needs to get on the ez pass bandwagon toute suite.

In other Mets news, I was selected in a Mets lottery to buy tickets for this week's subway series. The problem? I'll be in Williamstown all this weekend. Ah cruel cruel fate.

If I post the account number the Mets gave me, can one of you Mets fans use it to buy the tickets, or does it need to be linked to a pre-registered email account? Might as well give it to somebody who can attend...

Glad you hear you had a blast kiddo... We'll definitely do it again somtime soon. (Minus the whole near death part).

Adam said...

Ms. Henderson's Sister:

I'm a fireman.

Rickey Henderson said...

yeek. ok, this is a glorious trainwreck waiting to happen...

Toasty Joe said...

Holy crap. When I first read the headline/saw the picture, I assumed that was Rickey's car sitting on its side. Quite a little adventure you had there. Was Tony Soprano in the car holding the driver's nose shut?

Mr Furious said...

What's the matter with that guy that he couldn;t crawl out the passenger door?

Ah, the Grand Central Parkway....good times. I remember when I got sideswiped by a semi in traffic on that highway. Luckily it all happened at about 8 mph, and was over quickly. But the sound of the big-ass lugnuts ripping into my Saab's flesh sounded like a machine gun behind my head and scared the living shit out of me.

EZPass is one of the Top 10 inventions of all time, I cannot believe you live in the NYC area without it.

After I moved to MI, the first time I returned to NYC, I blew through the lane at the Battery tunnel in some sort of auto-pilot trance, completely forgetting that I no longer had the EZPass. They were easy on me, when I explained. No infraction.

Rickey Henderson said...

No he couldn't crawl out for some reason. Just just stood upright in the car at it was lying on its side (his feet on the pavement and his head popping out of the passenger window like a gopher).

You drive a Saab? Strong work, those Scandanavian rockets are Rickey's cars of choice. Welcome to the RwR blogroll chief.

darla said...

yes,we have woefully bad drivers in ireland too.

Mr Furious said...

Drove a Saab. Since retired. I loved that car. 1987 900S in Malachite Green. Put over 200K on it.

I have a '01 Volvo S60T now. Nice. Just got it in January.

I love me the Swedish cars as well. My dorky dream car right now is the 9-3 Sportcombi Aero. Sweet.

Toasty Joe said...

Alas, no one even chuckled at my Sopranos reference. Alas.

Rickey Henderson said...

Heh sorry Joe. Rickey digs the reference. He did watch that ep, and was totally shocked beyond all belief by it.