Thursday, May 17, 2007

...Er, is that a Cosby Sweater?

Yikes. So is Lastings going for the goofy, “so-unhip-it's-cool” Andre 3000 vibe with the argyle sweater, or does his mother dress him? As many have undoubtedly heard, Lastings Milledge has managed to rile up the Met fanbase once again. And this time around, the action in question is even wackier than when he taped pictures of Sammy Sosa, Mark McGwire and Jay Buhner to his locker during spring training. Indeed, it's even worse than that...

Lastings Milledge, brilliant entrepreneur that he is, recently released a rap album with some naughty lyrics. Unsurprisingly, the entire Mets nation has collectively gone apeshit in the past 24 hours, and now Lastings appears to be all but destined to be playing in Boston by the end of the season. Lovely. So clearly, MLB needs to nip this whole debacle in the bud. Baseball obviously can't abide young black men expressing themselves. (Yes, that’s a little Thursday morning snark for you folks who haven't had your AM coffee just yet).

Look, we can all agree that Shawn Green certainly isn't the future of rap, yes? So Rickey figures that Lastings might as well go for it. And as a really really white Met fan, Rickey has only one question: can he hit a freaking curveball? If the answer is yes, then this entire debate is moot. Moot Rickey says! Besides, all this hubub is eating up time that would be much better spent morning the world's tragic loss of Jerry Falwell.

So all you Mets fans who would prefer to see “Ride of the Valkyries” used as Billy Wagner’s intro song can relax, take a deep breath, and return to lamenting Omar Minaya’s decision to fill the roster with geriatric Hispanics. And here’s to hoping that Milledge's second album includes a song vulgarly lashing out at Mike and the Mad Dog. Rickey would buy that one for sure.

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4 comments:

Mr Furious said...

You guys want to ship him to Boston on the cheap? This is one Sox fan that will welcome the next Ice-T in the fold.

Rickey Henderson said...

What, Manny's hijinks aren't enough for you?

The guy urinates behind the scoreboard during inning changes...

Mike said...

I love that picture!

Toasty Joe said...

Excellent post, Rickey. One of Rickey's better efforts.