Monday, April 30, 2007

This is where Rickey posts recommendations of noteworthy consumables, practices, and pastimes that have been deemed invaluable for the reader’s betterment. All products and advice listed herein have been Rickey tested and approved. Enjoy this week's installment of

RICKEY RECCOMMENDS:

Playing the “Inside the Actor’s Studio” drinking game. Confused? Here’s how it works, you drink whenever:

  • an acting student asks a question that turns out to be more of a statement.

  • an actor discusses an early, demeaning job with a great show of good-humored, self-effacing embarrassment.

  • James Lipton praises a guest so fulsomely that you yourself, sitting at home in your underpants with your bottle of bourbon, feel uncomfortable.

  • an actor is asked his or her favorite swear word, and they smirk and say one, and it's bleeped out, and it gets a huge laugh, as if no one's ever seen this happen before, as if the mere utterance of a swear word is very funny.

Draperies. Argh, it angers Rickey that his cherished television viewing room allows sunlight to pour in through the windows. The glare makes it nigh impossible to see anything on Rickey’s wondrous tv set. Curses on you, “natural light.” When will people learn that television is best viewed in a dank, dark, anti-social environment?

The musical stylings of “Iron and Wine.” Believe it or not, every now and then Rickey opts to listen to something a little mellower than the likes of Andrew W.K. or the Dropkick Murphys. And these guys are about as mellow and folksy as they come. But don’t let that dissuade you; being familiar with this band adds a few points to your music snob rating. And if “Hi Fidelity” has taught us anything, it’s that the ladies dig a music snob.

The Domino’s Philly Cheesesteak Pizza. Rejoice gluttons! Domino’s has brought this wondrous gastronomical creation back into their lineup! You’ll marvel at how humankind is capable of crafting things so ridiculously tasty. It’s like the Hanging Gardens of pizzas. To ensure maximum delectability, be sure to order yours with extra cheese and meat. Mmm… extra cheese and meat…

Night-vision goggles. You can see in the dark, and it's all green and glowing. Rickey has never tried these, but he sure would like to.

Command and Conquer 3 for the Xbox 360. Rickey will beat you senseless at this game. Did we mention that it features the acting talents of Josh Holloway from “Lost,” Tricia Helfer and Grace Park from “BSG,” Michael Ironside from “Starship Troopers,” and Billy Dee Williams from “Brian’s Song”?

Embracing embarrassing impasses. You know when you’re walking towards someone and each of you is blocking the other, and when you move to the left, the other person moves to the right? And this happens over and over again? And suddenly you’re having far more interaction with this other person than you really want to have? Well Rickey recommends turning this into a game. Feint, dart, try and anticipate the other person’s every move just by watching their eyes, and for every time you block them, you get a point. Rickey’s a freaking genius.


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7 comments:

Smitty said...

Night-vision goggles. You can see in the dark, and it's all green and glowing. Rickey has never tried these, but he sure would like to.

I used them extensively in my time in the Marines. The old models we used to use screwed with your depth perception. "Oh look," you'd say to yourself, "a tree br--OUCH."

The new models are much nicer.

As an added benefit, you can read a book in bed with night vision goggles on, and not have to turn on a light and wake your spouse just because you want to read.

Toasty Joe said...

You were on the Chiba-Lotte Marines?

Rickey Henderson said...

Out of all that, you guys went with the night-vision goggles suggestion? Really?

Thats it, this column is getting retired.

(And yes, Rickey was totally on the Chiba-Lotte Marines. Rickey was in the shit.)

Adam said...

Holy tits, I love this stuff.

Smitty said...

Rickey:

I'd love to post a link to your blog on mine if you'd allow it. You gots good stuff here. And I don't even need night vision to read it.

Rickey Henderson said...

Smitty--go for it. And welcome to the "Riding with Rickey" blogroll.

Smitty said...

Awesome!