Is that not the best picture ever of a disgruntled Mets fan? Are you not amused? Like the poor bloke on the left watching last season's 10-1 loss to the Pirates, Rickey is also deeply perturbed. And what, you ask, is the cause of his perturbance? No, it’s not the fact that Duaner “Dirty” Sanchez is suddenly out for most of the 2007 season due to a fracture of his coracoid (after two injury riddled Mets seasons, Rickey virtually has an MD). And it’s not the fact that Jon Adkins decided it would be fun to give up 17 runs in 13 innings during Spring Training this year. Nor is it the fact that watching Shawn Green putter around in right field is about as enjoyable as an adult circumcision.
No, what really grinds Rickey’s gears is the fact that the first Mets game of the season will be broadcast on ESPN2 (“The Ocho” as some have taken to calling it). Never mind that ESPN2 is typically reserved for thrilling sporting events such as billiards, lumberjacking tournaments, and hot dog eating contests. No, the bigger problem here is that ESPN2, unlike it’s sister station, ESPN, does not broadcast in high definition. Yeah, that’s right: an opening night Mets/Cardinals game is not being transmitted in glorious HD. Frakking hell.
So when Rickey tunes in this Sunday night at 8pm on ESPN2, he won’t be treated to a nice widescreen image. And Rickey certainly won’t see a level of detail that will allow him to pick out items like the exact shade of red in Scott Spiezio’s ridiculous goatee or what blend of grass the St. Louis grounds crew is using to cover the field this season. Other than Bud Selig (who Rickey holds responsible for the fact that stamps now cost 39 cents), who is to blame here? What sporting event is appearing on regular ESPN that’s bumping the Mets/Cards season opener to ESPN2?
Women’s college basketball. And not even the finals. The freaking semi-finals. First off, Rickey would like to placate his .75 female readers by stating that he has nothing but the utmost of respect for women’s basketball. He’s rooting for Rutgers in fact—go Scarlet Knights, go! But as much fun as watching a lot of layups is, women’s basketball trumping a Mets/Cards home opener is completely ridiculous. Thank you very much, Title 9. Deep down, we all knew that it was only a matter of time until you came back to taunt us…
2 comments:
I just hope the Mets, seeing the Cardinals collect those underdeserved rings, get motivated to do two things: 1. Win. 2. Knock that showboat Albert Pujols on his ass three games in a row.
Well-stated all around, Rickey.
But you will have the game brought to you by Hall of Famer Joe Morgan, who'll guarantee for you things like the mets playing baseball for six months in '07, that it'll take 27 outs to earn a win, and that good pitching beats good hitting except when good hitting beats good pitching.
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