Monday, February 12, 2007


Due to a large workload and the hassle of apartment hunting, Rickey has been lax in his posting lately. Make no mistake, finding decent louse-free dwellings is no easy task. Anyhow, Rickey apologizes profusely and offers up the following items of interest in a token of good will and continuance of thanks to all his readers… all 15 of ‘em. You happy few. Pay no attention whatsoever to the picture on the left—Rickey posted it mostly for his own personal amusement. No mention will be made of Anna Nicole Smith because quite frankly, Rickey doesn’t give a flying fuck about that nonsense. Here are a few links that caught Rickey’s interest. Pardon the full links, HTML on Blogger is acting wonky today.

A big golf clap to the “New Yorker” for trying to set us straight concerning the political leanings on “24.” You know you're reading a “New Yorker” article when words like “zeitgeist” and “baroque” are being tossed around. Also, the writer felt an inexplicable need to compare “24” to a 1960s Jean Larteguy novel. Okey-dokey. Mildly witty cartoons be damned, Rickey is canceling his “New Yorker” subscription post-haste.

11 feet of snow? Yeow, haven’t the aging rust belt communities of CNY suffered enough? Evidently the big man upstairs begs to differ, and frankly, given the political leanings of those god fearing landlocked freaks, Rickey is inclined to agree with him. Enjoy the next ice age you goofy Reganites. Be sure to let Rickey know when the inevitable “Day After Tomorrow” climate change scenario of wolves getting loose and attacking people occurs.

I knew it: See, this is what happens when ABC schedules programs that conflict with Rickey’s routine. The season premiere was fairly underwhelming anyway. (Oh wow, I totally thought of “Clockwork Orange” too when they found that kid in the room! Jeepers, we must be getting close to something here!) Bleh, Rickey is seriously considering hopping off the “Lost” bandwagon in search of less aggravating television programming.

Rickey is starting a fund raiser. He needs you give him $149,998 toute suite so he can buy this: An extra $1,000 buys you a ride in the vehicle with Rickey, who will be dressed up as Winston Zedmore. “Winnnnnstonnnnn….”

Due to his consternating inability to run Viva PiƱata properly, Rickey had to send his beautiful love child to a factory in Texas for repairs. Hopefully, Rickey will be receiving a refurbished unit from Microsoft shortly, thus marking the first time that something good ever happened in Texas.

Mazel Tov to Kevin Smith for dropping 22 pounds. Now stop making bad movies you pompous schmuck. “Clerks 2” was a start—keep it up lunchbox.

In case you forgot, the combined age of the Mets pitching staff is roughly 900 years. But is there reason to hope? John Delcos, a true mensch, has a terrific breakdown of the situation.

And finally, a small village in Serbia has decided to wisely spend their entire FY'07 budget on a huge statue of Rocky. Sound investment Serbian villagers—you didn’t really need that newfangled sewage system anyway. $10 if you’re not quietly singing the “Monorail Song” from the Simpsons right now. Monorailllllllllllllllllllll….

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1 comment:

Adam said...

Welcome back Rickey!

Now if that Serbian village went and built a huge statue to Rickey instead of Rocky, well, there's no arguing against that fiscal judgment is there?

And while we're not talking about Anna Nicole Smith, why is it that little miracles like that kitten firing a handgun go unnoticed but a fat, drugged-up aged stripper's death captivates a heart-broken nation? FUCK THIS PLANET.

I hope the terrorists win this season on "24"