Thursday, February 1, 2007

In this exciting new column (which is in no way a blatant rip off of “McSweeney Recommends”), Rickey will post recommendations of noteworthy consumables, practices, and pastimes that have been deemed invaluable for the reader’s betterment. All products and advice listed herein have been Rickey tested and approved. Enjoy the first installment of:

RICKEY RECOMMENDS:

John Hodgeman’s “Areas of My Expertise.” Released for free on itunes several months ago, this audiobook is comedic dynamite. You don’t know funny until you’ve heard this. Easily found for free on the internets. For those keeping score at home, Hodgeman is the new guy with glasses on the Daily Show.

Operating a rear wheel drive automobile. Fishtailing about in poor weather conditions builds character damnit. Rickey will be testing this theory on his commute to work tomorrow morning.

Clambering up to the tops of building rooftops, getting good and loaded, then yelling things at street level pedestrians. Because you haven’t lived until you’ve belted out “you can’t run off ugly” at female joggers passing by. Make arrangements to do this as soon as possible.

Possessing a piece of baseball paraphernalia, (preferably in mug form). Much like Tony and his precious Cubs mug from “24,” Rickey brandishes a Mets coffee mug. This is how Rickey lets coworkers know that a mensch walks amongst them.

The new Shins album, “Wincing the Night Away.” Rickey’s not sure whether or not this band falls under the snobbish classification of “Indie Rock,” but it’s worth a listening to nonetheless. The Shins: making good music since like, uh, 2005.

Owning an ottoman. Sadly, Rickey doesn’t have one of these in his apartment, but Rickey is relatively sure that the ability to literally put one’s feet up at the end of the day vastly reduces one’s stress levels.

Re-watching “Wall Street” sometime. An Oliver Stone classic starring Charlie Sheen and Michael Douglas at their respective primes. Blue Horseshoe Loves Anacot Steel.

Halo 2. (Not the campaign you dummy, the multiplayer). Sweet merciful jebus is this game good. Even though it’s been out for over 2 years now, you can still hop online and easily find 15 other people to share the awesomeness with. If you haven’t played this, you’re not living up to your full potential as a human being. Once Rickey’s Halo 3 Beta arrives, posting on this blog will slow to a trickle.

Cooking up a lobster dinner. Rickey says: get thee to a fishmongery ASAP and purchase a few lobsters. Bonus points if you perform your Woody Allen impression from “Annie Hall” for your significant other while attempting to cook aforementioned shellfish.

Using a badger hair shaving brush. Shaving sucks. One of these makes it better, and Rickey gets to feel all old-timey and whatnot while doing it.

Renting “The Keep.” An early Michael Mann movie starring Ian McKellan and Gabriel Byrne set during WWII with Nazis and supernatural forces duking it out in a medieval castle. And Tangerine Dream does the whole soundtrack. Depending on your mental state, it’s either the best or worst movie ever made. Rickey’s not sure which. For some insane reason, it’s only available on VHS.

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5 comments:

Kaylee said...

I love your site:) NICE RECOMMONDATIONS:)

Mike said...

A friend of mine just talked up the Shins, after he heard them on satellite radio.

Wow, I may have to check these guys out.

Rickey Henderson said...

Stupid blogger letter verification... figuring out and retyping these word jumbles angers Rickey.

Anyhow, Rickey recommends definitely checking out the Shins' first two albums, "Chutes too Narrow" and "Oh Inverted World." There are some fantastic tracks on 'em--In particular, "New Slang," "St. Simon" and "Caring is Creepy." They help Rickey get down and funky.

Otto Man said...

Owning an ottoman.

You'll never own me. Thirteenth Amendment, sucka!

Shyma Shetty said...

bwahahaha I love your style of writing!